


Deep Waters

by KieraRutherford



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood, F/M, Gore, Loss of Limbs, Sharks, Swimming, Underwater, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-15 10:10:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 35,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15410646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KieraRutherford/pseuds/KieraRutherford
Summary: Cullen Rutherford is an expert on sharks, but when funds get low and he's offered a spot on the lucrative Shark Week tv show, he has to take it. However he's saddled with the young heiress of a rich family. He's got one month to make the find of a century to guarantee his work, but can he manage to do that over the excitable and beautiful Diana Trevelyan? The sharks are circling and soon they'll both be in, Deep Water.





	1. Shark Week

Cullen moaned loudly as Varric shook his head, “listen we need these numbers and your ass alone isn’t going to be enough. Sex can’t sell everything. As much as Cassandra would like it to.” Crossing his arms tightly over his chest, he rolled his eyes. “We need two full hours to fill and hearing boring facts about sharks, everyone has heard a million times already isn’t going to cut it.”

“Varric. You’re asking me to take some rich born twit and shove them in shark infested waters for ratings. Doesn’t that sound a little, unprofessional and dangerous to you?” Rubbing his neck, he flipped over the page in his hand. “A full month of filming… do you know the money…”

“The Trevelyan’s are covering every cost. From the gas for the boat to anything you can think of. If you have to put up with a brat for a month, at least you could use the money.” Shrugging again Varric sat at his desk, “Diana Trevelyan will be ready to meet you in three days. She’s making preparations with her parents and funds are being moved. They know your work. You should be pleased,” scribbling down some information on a pamphlet he pushed it towards Cullen. “They have a small list of demands, nothing extreme. Cassandra already vetted it out. They’re even going so far as to purchase a new skiff for the show. Afterwards they’re donating it to your organization, as well as a healthy sum of money to continue your work.”

Cullen sat dumbstruck as he held the papers in his hand. “You… you’re pulling my leg Tethras.”

“Nope. Wish I was, the look on your face is priceless right now.” Chuckling he picked up his phone. “Now, is there anything else? I have to take a call from their accountant to link up the last of the finances.” Cullen could only shake his head as he half stumbled to get up. Varric waved him out and he was all to eager to leave. Pacing through the production office of the National Geographic’s building became a blur. He was only vaguely aware of his butt being in his rental car. Every time he tried to read the papers nothing stuck. Grumbling under his breath he finally gave up. It was already late, and he hadn’t had a chance to eat dinner yet. Slipping the keys into the ignition he drove off to the hotel. He’d have to fly back out to Florida in the morning and a nearly five-hour flight wasn’t something he was looking forward to. Deciding on room service he returned to his hotel room. Taking his papers in, he was hoping they’d make some sense at some point.

Ordering dinner, he packed what little he brought with him. After dinner he felt a bit better and tried again to read over the papers. Most of it was common sense, legal business. Flipping over to the next page it was information on her. Her. He still hadn’t given it much thought. Some rich, social lite trying to weasel her way to becoming the next Kim Kardashian. Rolling his eyes, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to know. Before he could take a good look, his phone went off. The number looked familiar, but he wasn’t sure from where, “hello?”

“Good evening, Professor Rutherford?” a pleasant female voice broke through the line and he wasn’t sure who it could be. “Yes, this is he. Can I help you?”

“My goodness, how dreadfully rude of me. I am Diana Trevelyan. My father is investing in your research efforts and I’ll be joining you. I just wanted to call and introduce myself before we meet in a couple days. I’ve followed your career closely. I promise I won’t get in your way.”

“I appreciate the professional nature of your call,” Cullen tried to sound more excited than he felt. “I look forward to…”

“We’d like to get together after you return to Florida. Dinner, on us. You deserve nothing but the best, Professor. I cannot say how absolutely excited I am to work along side of you. Oh, but I am cutting into your time. Please, until we meet. Good night, Professor.”

Before he could get a word out the line gave a soft click and pulling his cell phone away from his ear verified what he knew to be true. She’d hung up. Grumbling again under his breath he no longer wished to read anything to do with the contract. “One month,” he snarled. “Rylen better be ready to babysit.” Checking his email, he caught the copy of the paperwork, sent from Varric. Forwarding it off to Rylen he attached a small message. “Be prepared for the worst case. I’m praying she can swim at least.”

Pushing the thoughts down as deep as he could, he readied himself for bed. There was already a ton of work to do. He’d have to secure bait, Dagna was working on new tags and she’d need more equipment. Then there was this boat. He wanted to be there to see it. Check that it was as well prepared and loaded out as Varric made it sound. Tossing and turning several times under the blankets he couldn’t get comfortable. The pain was back again, and so was the itch. The need. Sweat began to cling to his face as he tried to mentally ward it off. “It’s just phantom pain, it’s just phantom pain.” He chanted rubbing at the stump of his leg. Just above the left knee. His mistake. Surfing at the coast was dangerous, and he knew better. But what do all young, robust men do in their youth? He could have gotten into drugs, or drank, possibly even been a womanizer. Instead he was a thrill junky and he picked the wrong pond. An eleven-foot bull shark took his leg and nearly his life. He was eighteen when everything changed. Two years, multiple prosthetics and an addiction to pain killers later, he started his journey to become a shark expert. Ten years later he was an expert in his field. And a recovering addict. Now, at nearly a quarter to eleven he was fighting the urge for painkillers, and the phantom pain that came and went from the limb. “No, Maker please, make it stop.” Groaning he rubbed and rubbed, wishing he could will it all away. His eyelids were getting heavy and he felt dizzy. Slowly the pain pulled him into a restless sleep.

Nine am, his alarm on his phone woke him. Untangling himself from the sheets he hobbled towards the shower. He felt gross, having slept in his sweat. Washing it all away he felt more human, more normal. After dressing he packed the few remaining items, carefully placing his papers in his carry on. It was a two-day trip. He’d packed very lightly, only using a shoulder bag. Getting everything in his rental, he checked out and drove to the airport. After turning the keys in he went through the process he always did at the airport. Removing his leg and placing it on the scanner as he held himself up on the edge of the turnstile. “Alright, thank you for understanding sir,” a polite security officer offered him his arm, but he declined. “I’m alright, just pass me my leg.”

He faced nothing unusual boarding and taking off. Pulling the papers out he had a chance to read over a bit more. Skipping the information on Diana Trevelyan he went over the fund allotment and placement. He was a numbers man. Going over each item and cost he circled the things he’d need to check out and put lines under the items he was running low on. Two hours in he had completely scrutinized every line of the budget. Feeling the hum of the planes engine pulsate through him, he yawn. There was at least a good three hours till they arrived, a nap would do him well and he could make up his mind on this Trevelyan woman later. Stashing his papers back in his carry on he leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

The sound of the pilot coming over the intercom woke him, “we’re arriving at Miami International Airport. We’ll be set to disembark in the next fifteen minutes. Please leave your seat belt on until the light comes off. Thank you for flying with us today, have a great day!”

Rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his palms he ran his hands over his face and through his hair. He was still a good hour’s drive away from his house. Collecting his bag, he yawned again. When the light binged off, he undid his seat belt and waited. Several more moments later, and a short walk and he was heading out towards his truck. Sitting down, he went over the messages on his phone. Rylen had emailed back, “I am not your personal babysitter mate. She’s your problem. Try being nice.” Chewing a slur of words, he growled. “This is going to be…” His phone rang.

“Professor Rutherford. I’m pleased to hear you landed on time. We’d like to give you a chance to get to know us and our wishes before the filming begins. Would you kindly meet us at the Crazy About You restaurant, down on Brickell Bay drive and SE 12th st?”

“Sure, what time?” Cullen was struggling to remain cordial as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Say, six tonight? Bring your partner, Rylen, was it?” Before Cullen could get a word in the woman’s voice continued. “Oh, I am so excited Professor. Please, do not be concerned about the price of the meal, we are covering everything! You shall want for nothing and do not feel the slightest bit concerned for it. I will not tolerate any penny pinching. These beautiful creatures require the best, as do you and your team. I look forward to seeing you tonight. Cheers!” Again, the same click clipped through. Leaning his head back he grumbled. Pushing the start button on his truck he buckled in. Pressing the call button, he growled out Rylen’s name. Two rings later he picked up, “so, how’d it go?”

“Hope you’re ready to be wined and dined. We’ve been invited to Crazy About You, down on Brickell Bay drive. You know that rich restaurant. They’re paying apparently. Have to be there for six.” Turning down the road he was heading towards home, a half an hour away if the traffic was good. An hour if it wasn’t. “Ya, I know the place. Six? Guess I better dig out my good duds. That all you call me for mate?”

“Yeah. We can go over budget and all that later tomorrow. I need some time to track down our suppliers. Dagna have everything she needs? I want at least a hundred tags ready for when we leave. Plus, replacement parts.”

“Ya, ya, you bully. She’s working as fast as she can Captain but she donta have the funds.” Rylen’s snicker filled his truck and he had to clear his throat to hide his own laugh. “Right, make the purchases, the Trevelyans are paying. Tell her, whatever she needs. NEEDS, Rylen, needs.”

“Alright Captain. I’ll get the oxygen and tanks sorted as well. You sure you’re ready for this? We haven’t seen the boat, supply manifold, or…”

“I know. I’ll personally handle it. Don’t worry.” Cullen let out a long sigh. “Just, be ready to smile and kiss ass. We need the funds, whether I want to admit it or not and this is a great chance to get some advertising done. Funds are tight right now…” it had been dire for some time. They were looking at losing public funding and their only backer was an eccentric man who simply referred to himself as Dorian. His short stint in a private no name, don’t ask, don’t tell rehab had eaten up the last of their reserves. They couldn’t risk losing this now. “I’m sure we’re close to finding the pupping ground. If we can do that, we could have the discovery of a life time. Funding issues would be long gone.”

“Hey, don’t sound so glum Cullen. We’ll be alright. I’ll put my best foot forward tonight. It’s your grumpy arse that needs to smile and show a little skin. With a body like that, I’m sure you’d con her right out of half her fortune and all her skirt.” Cullen’s ears tinted pink at the statement. He was all too aware of his looks and took great care in tending to himself. “Rylen, that isn’t…”

“Listen. I ain’t going to lie to you. If she fancies you, play it. We can’t well afford to say no. Forgive me on that one brother but we have to do what we have to.” Rylen made a long sigh before he spoke again. “Alright man, relax, unpack and get your head on. You need anything? I can meet you at the house.”

“No, no, I’m fine. I’ll meet you at the restaurant. Get there a half hour early so we can prepare. I’ll catch up with you then. Bye.” Rylen echoed his words and the line clipped out, the radio replacing it. Driving down the road his mind played over the conversation, the figures from the bank dancing in his mind. They needed this, as much as it hurt him to admit it, they needed this. Swallowing his dignity, he knew Rylen was right, he’d have to play by whatever rules they laid out. Trying to shake his mind, he cranked up the tunes on the radio, trying to blast out his troubling thoughts.


	2. Just Dinner

He paced up and down his hallway, tugging at the collar of his business shirt, the tie digging into his Adam’s apple. “I hate monkey suits.” Grumbling again into the mirror he smoothed his hair down. He only owned one suit, and he hated wearing it. It wasn’t the fit so much but the confined feeling he had when he put it on. It wasn’t his style, nor who he felt he was. Loosening the button under chin he felt better. “Maybe if I loosen the tie, it’ll be alright.” Toying with it he felt a relief wash over him. He’d gotten home, worked on his papers, contacted some suppliers and double checked the marina location. He was set to see the boat tomorrow, meet the filming crew and view the cargo hold. The next day they set sail. It was a lot of work to do in a little bit of time. He’d written the list out, including times and costs. All he had left to do now was head to the restaurant. Jumping in his truck he made the short trip over. As he pulled in he caught sight of Rylen who was pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, cellphone up to his ear and talking away. By the scowl on his face, Cullen was nervous. Pulling into a near by parking spot, he quickly rushed to Rylen’s side. Waving his hand, he waited for Rylen to notice him. “Not good?” He mouthed as he stood beside him. Rylen offered him a sharp shake of his head and Cullen tried to stifle the groan.

Several tense moments passed before Rylen hung up, “sorry mate. Bad news. Our favourite muscle can’t come out. Got sick with mono. He put me in contact with two new guys. Iron Bull and Blackwall. They’re good to go and ready but it doubles our cost.” Running his hands down his face Rylen growled. “Damnit. We’re so fu…”

“Professor Rutherford! Rylen!” Cullen recognized the voice from the phone calls and gave Rylen a quick smile, mouthing for him to follow along. “Ms. Trevelyan, a true pleasure to meet…” His jaw nearly hit the ground when he turned to see the face of the voice. Walking slowly towards him was a voluptuous tall red head, wearing a nearly skin-tight cocktail dress in a shimmering navy blue. Her forest green eyes locked on his and for a moment his heart stopped beating in his chest. Blinking several times, he felt Rylen jab him in the back, “you must be Diana Trevelyan, please. Call me Cullen.” Holding his hand out to her he was surprised when she gave him a firm squeeze. “A pleasure, Cullen. Come, my parents are running late. We should get some drinks at the bar while we wait. Unless you object?”

“No ma’am,” Rylen piped up half skipping around Cullen. “My name’s Rylen, second in command. Truly a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” Holding his hand out to her he waved her towards the door. “Allow me.”

Cullen was stunned. She was beauty and grace, but her handshake had him thinking she could almost handle herself. Tugging again at the collar of his shirt he took a quick lung of fresh air before following in behind them. “Just one drink, one drink and that’s it.” He thought to himself as he took the seat beside her. “Pick your poison, Cullen. I’m interested in finding out more about you.” Diana let out a purr that could have set a man’s blood on fire. But Cullen’s mind was already working on the finer details of the next twenty-four hours. “I’m a simple man, Ms. Trevelyan. I’ll have a honey bourbon, on the rocks.”

“Sweet, with a punch. I believe I understand you a bit more,” Diana grinned as she waved over to the bar tender. “And you, Rylen. What’s your story?”

“Scotch, ma’am. Older the better.” Rylen flashed her a wicked smile and Cullen rolled his eyes. Rylen was laying it on thick, perhaps too thick and they didn’t even have her parents here. The main people behind the entire ordeal. “Miss…”

“Diana please.” She interrupted him, taking a sip from her tall flute of champagne. “Right, Diana, my apologises. Where your parents not coming to meet us this evening?”

“I’m sorry. Father got tied up in another one of his infamous board meetings. Mother is ill and won’t be able to attend. I am your entertainment for the evening, I’m afraid. Though I have all the information you’ll need and am more than happy to answer every question. I’m assuming you got a copy of the dossier?” The bartender laid out the two tumblers with the men’s drinks as a server came by. “Ms. Trevelyan, your usual table is ready. Would you care to follow me?”

With a polite nod, Diana waved for them to all follow the server. “I apologize. We’ll speak more once everyone has ordered.” Cullen didn’t know what to think as he followed Diana further into the restaurant. When they came to a small table set in the deepest corner he swallowed hard. Diana instantly slipped into her seat on the booth, perfectly positioned between Rylen and Cullen. “So, I was explaining about my father.” She waved the waitress away, motioning for time with the menus. “Read through, I’ll have my usual. My father has placed me in charge of his funding for this expedition. Have either of you read through my information?”

“No.” Cullen stated flatly. “I don’t read about my people, I want to hear it from them. Personally. It gives me a better sense of who and what I am dealing with.” He had barely touched his drink, now eager to get the dinner over with. There was still a lot of work to do and if the main financer wasn’t here to speak with he felt as if his time was being wasted. Diana must have picked up on his frustration as she let out a huffing chuckle. “My dear Cullen, impatient. My father may be backing this venture, financially, but it is by my will it’s happening at all. Had you taken the brief ten to fifteen minutes to read up on me, you’d know I graduated with honors from Duke University’s marine biology. One of the most prestigious institutes. The one you graduated from, with full honors. I did as well. I am fully certified to dive up to thirty meters. My area of expertise is bull sharks, but I have a passion for all sharks. I just find bulls interesting. Their ability to salininate their own blood is impressive.” Stopping to sip her champagne she sighed. “So, I won’t be someone either of you will need to babysit. I’m sure you’ve already discussed how best to deal with the rich brat, but I can guarantee you want my help, and you need it.”

“Well played,” Rylen did a soft clap. “You have balls ma’am, if I can say such. You might put the Captain to work yet.” Cullen rolled his eyes, deciding instead to swallow back a healthy mouth full of bourbon. It was a fine vintage, rich in body, yet sweet with no harsh burn. “Diana, pleasure to have you aboard then. My concern is the stocking of my ship. I know you…”

“We bought the skiff and had it completely decked out. State of the art equipment and technology. I reached out to your equipment manager, Dagna. She has a line of products required, and I had them sent over. She should be receiving them tonight along with an aid to help her finish the tags in time. As for you Rylen,” turning her back to Cullen she continued. “I have a laundry list of needs from you. They’ve all been met. Is there anything else?”

“No ma’am.” Rylen could barely squeeze the words out at his eyes bulged. “Good,” she turned back to Cullen who was twirling the stir stick in his drink. “The ship is ready for inspection tomorrow morning at your earliest convenience. I will be giving you a full tour and assessing any further needs. They will be attended to and completed before day’s end tomorrow. We’ll be set to sail on time.” Chuckling she opened the menu before Cullen, “do try the steak. The chef here is an expert in the art of grilling and you look like a meat and potatoes kind of man to me.”

“I’ll consider it.” Looking down at the menu he didn’t want to admit she was right. He was a meat and potatoes man. Even more so he was impressed with her ability to coordinate things. When the waitress returned to take their orders, he went with the steak, medium rare with the garlic whipped potatoes. At least it seemed fancy to him. Relaxing a bit, he caught Rylen’s face. Exchanging a look, he nodded. “Alright, I’m interested, Diana. Tomorrow morning, ten am let’s go see this new ship. Has she got a name yet?”

“No. Captain’s honor and right are yours. I have some recommendations but as always it is your girl.” Smiling over her champagne flute she was posed if not mildly arrogant. But it was a calm understanding of her own abilities and his. Faith, he mused. “Thank you. I do have a name for her in mind, but I need to know if the feel fits. Forgive me my oddities.” Draining the last of his bourbon he shook his head. “No need for a top up. I’m driving. Water, please, extra ice.” Ice chewing was a terrible habit but one that took his mind away from his leg, which was currently lightly pulsating. Absentmindedly he began rubbing at his thigh under the table, trying to calm the firing nerves.

“Your meals,” the waitress announced as she came over with a tray loaded in her arms. Setting each plate down she offered refills and returned with what was requested. Dinner itself was more subdued. The food was as good as he expected a pricey meal should be. With a full belly he felt the thrumming in his leg still edging at him. He needed to get up and walk, just move, something. “Diana, I do hate to cut this evening short but there are important things I need to tend to before we meet tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, of course.” She gave a smile, but he thought he caught the faintest hint of disappointment cross her face. “Perhaps if everything goes as planned, we can do lunch?”

“Yes, fine with me.” He tried to stand but his leg didn’t move. Brushing it off he forced his hips to the side and slid out of the bench. Placing his good leg down he prayed softly under his breath as he stood. The pressure against the fake leg took the edge off but it also burnt. Sharp stabbing pain coursed through him and the old itch was strong. “Rylen, I’m assuming you can manage from here?”

“Of course, Captain. You al…”

“Fine. I’m fine. I… Excuse me.” Taking a firm step forward he pushed towards the door, not looking back. When he crossed the threshold and out into the fading lights of day he felt like he could breathe. Safely away from her and Rylen he let the hobble begin to show. Gripping his thigh tightly, he dug his fingertips into the thick muscle. Each step was agony until he made it to his truck. His hand shook as he grabbed the bottle. “No…No…” yelling he threw it across the empty street before he slumped back against the truck’s body. Panting heavy he pulled himself into his truck. Sitting behind the wheel he licked at his dry lips. Turning on the truck he blasted the air conditioning in his face. Slowly he felt himself relax. “Just get home, just go home.” Doing a quick check in his mirrors he threw his truck in reverse and made his way home.

The drive was a blur, barely anything registering as he went. When he finally walked in the door he hit the dial option on his tablet. Several rings later the line picked up, “Cullen, its been a while. What do you need?” Leliana flashed him a warm smile, her face coming up perfectly upon the screen. “You don’t look well.”

“I… the itch, the pain… I… I can’t…” he was sweating and shaking uncontrollably. “I… I threw the drugstore pain killers away. I can’t… I…”

“Stress is one of the many triggers we talked about Cullen. You’ve been under a lot of pressure in the last few days. I’m guaranteeing you that once you get on the boat and begin working, most of your symptoms will fade and become more manageable. The phantom...”

“The pain is maddening Leliana! I want to carve my leg apart. I can feel the teeth…each fucking tooth piercing my skin, sinking into the muscle and shredding it apart.” He stilled hadn’t looked up, pacing back and forth as he tugged at his hair, the pain a grounding feeling. “Cullen look at me.” Leliana’s voice broke through to him and stopped him. Looking up at the screen she was as lovely as ever. Completely composed and ever the pale maiden. “Thank you. Now, I want you to run through the breathing exercises. Then go for a soak in your hot tub. Take a melatonin and rest. You will be better in the morning when you finish your inventory and are aware of all the little details. Please, for me?” Her sweet voice was calming, and he nodded. “Thanks, Lel. I…I know you’re right. Can I…”

“Call me tomorrow if you need to, or later tonight. You have my personal line. I’m confident you will surpass this. I have faith in you Cullen. This trip is your redemption and I know you’re going to be in the right place. Now, go on.” With a smile and wave she ended the call. Pressing another app on the tablet he followed the breathing exercise as he walked to the hot tub in his solarium. Stripping down he removed his prosthetic and sunk into the hot water. It was an add on. A few years old, to help with the pain. Resting his head back he tried to let it all slip away. Leliana was right and maybe Diana was too. She seemed to know what she was talking about and seemed to understand his needs. Letting the warmth radiate over him, he closed his eyes. There was something altogether alluring and dangerous about Diana Trevelyan. He couldn’t stop picturing her in that entirely too tight cocktail dress. She couldn’t be anywhere near as old as him, or perhaps he wore his age hard. Rubbing his face, he felt the last of the pain ebb from him as if the water slipped it away. Tomorrow, things would be better tomorrow. With that in mind, he followed Leliana’s prescription for the evening, getting a more throughout rest than the prior nights.


	3. I Like Big Boats and I Cannot Lie

Parking his truck at the marina he tried to maintain his calm. Stress triggered his pain, so he was set to avoid it. Sipping away on a soothing herbal tea, he wasn’t entire sure where to go. Diana’s text had been vague. “I’ll wait for you near the biggest boat. It’s ours.” Reading it again he shrugged. There were a ton of boats, after all it was a marina. Biggest was in the eye of the beholder. Stuffing his phone back into his pocket he strolled along the boardwalk, men and women packing ships of all kinds. Simple pleasure crafts beside overstuffed fishing boats. Research vessels next to speed boats. “Stay calm, it’s fine. It’s fine.” Mumbling as he went he nearly jumped out of his skin when a petite hand graced the small of his back, “Cullen, I was worried you wouldn’t make it in time.” Diana’s voice was bright and bubbly as she came around beside him, looping her arm in his. “This way. You are going to absolutely love this.”

Keeping pace with her, he didn’t want to get excited. Didn’t want to get his hopes up. Sure, she was a scientist, but classroom was always different than practice. As if she’d read his mind again she leaned in close, “I did spend two summers on research vessels. Of course, they were targeting the mating rituals of the hammerheads and finding the illusive great hammerheads. This is a bit different. I mean, to find the summer spawning fields of the Mako shark. My, Cullen you are ambitious to say the least.” Pointing towards the end of a private pier she beamed, “our darling awaits. Right. There.”

Cullen’s jaw nearly dropped. He’d seen them in all the old Shark Week specials. The jumbo ships with a million things upon them. Loaded to the gills with tech and equipment. She was a floating palace made with one purpose. Science. “This is… This…”

“Impressive isn’t she.” Letting his arm go she raced forward, uttering a couple words to a set of guards positioned by a gate. Within a few moments they were cast open and she was bounding down the short runway towards the ship. “She is completely outfitted. Stores stocked and ready to spend thirty days on the water. We have enough emergency rations for six months, for each person. I spoke already with the new deck hands, Iron Bull and Blackwall. They’ll be here first thing in the morning to get going.” Climbing the ladder, she waved him to follow, “I want to give you the tour, from the top down.” Following her up the ladder he was still in shock as he got to the top. “This is the observational deck. You can see everything from up her, and of course the navigations and all radar equipment is up here. The ladder is for quick external access. Over here,” she quickly walked over to a door. “Walk through here and the cabin is yours. Private and away from everyone. I do hope it is to your liking.” Pushing the door open Cullen gasped. Inside sat a king-sized bed, in a room that nearly stretched the entire upper deck. “I had this designed with you in mind. Here,” waving him to follow she pressed a button on the wall. A display panel appeared across the window. “It’s touch sensitive, and already tuned to your voice. Her name is Josephine. Simply ask for her and she can pull up navigation instruments, weather readings, sonar, radar, radio tags, all of it. Give her a try.”

“Ok. Josephine.” Cullen spoke her name and a female’s voice, soft and sweet with an accent filled the room. “Captain, how may I be of assistance?”

“I want wind readings and temperature gauges for the water at these coordinates.” Rattling off the longitude and latitude he waited for the answer. Flashing up on the glass came a full display of the area from a satellite and readings on the side. “The winds are blowing just short of seven nautical miles per hour currently. Water temperatures are to be expected for this time of year.” Josephine noted. “Is that all I can aid with, Captain?”

“Yes, thank you.” Blinking a few times, he thought he was dreaming. “Is there…”

“Three separate ways to get here, yes. All lockable to keep people out of your cabin. It can also be voice coded to allow people in with limited or full access. Here,” pointing to two separate doors she smiled. “Let’s continue the tour. We have a lot to see.” Heading through the door it led to a set of stairs. Following behind her, he was in shock. There was everything they could ever need. Ever. Stores full, every cabinet packed with the best equipment and materials. “Don’t worry, the crew has their lions share of comfort.” Showing him the crew bunks he paused. “Wait? Where is your room?”

“My room? Why I’m bunking with the crew. I am part of the crew, nothing more. I need nothing more.” Flashing him a smile she chuckled. “That’s mine, right there.” Pointing towards a bottom bunk with purple drape covers she blushed. “It’s my favourite color.”

“Interesting.” Cullen still wasn’t sure how to take the news, but he was impressed with the ship. Finishing the internal tour, she took him to their work deck. “Here, this is where the work happens. And,” she pulled him over to a panel. “This half of the deck is motorized. It can be lowered to sea level. It’ll be easier to tag and collect samples, or whatever we need to do in the future. I know Mako’s are a bit different and this technic might not be effective but there are other species and who knows what the future holds.” There was a gleam in her eyes as she looked out over the water. “I can’t wait.”

“Neither can I, but there are some minor details to attend to.” Cullen smiled and picked up his phone. “Hey, Rylen. Yes, we’re all good. Everything is ready to go.” Waving over to Diana he nodded. “Pack up, we leave no later than nine tomorrow morning. Send out the word.” Hanging up the phone he turned back to Diana, “all set. Just have to wait now.”

“Then let’s have lunch. There is a little café not far from here, walking distance really. Let me treat the Captain to a good meal and a toast to the voyage.” Diana was back at his side, her arm looped in his. He wasn’t entirely sure what to make of her, but he wasn’t going to turn down another meal. “Lead the way.” Following her back onto the dock, they strolled without speaking a word down the pier and back to the boardwalk. The soft breeze blew, and he caught the scent of her perfume flutter up under her nose. She smelt like soft orchids on a rainy summer day, something soft and unique. Her arm was warm in his and for a moment he felt the world slip away. There were no worries of money, of work, of the stress that would come. It was just a nice walk with a beautiful, intelligent woman. Allowing himself the thought he almost didn’t want it to end as they walked through the doors of the café. It was little, and even upon first glance, he could tell it wasn’t cheap. Sitting with her in a private back corner, he skimmed over the menu. Typical café fare. From waffles, to burgers. Selecting a club sandwich and salad he nodded, “you’ve been here before?”

“No. I’ve been dying to but never could find a good excuse. I hope you don’t mind if I use you as one.” Her bright smile disarmed him and for a moment he felt the heat curl up the back of his neck. Reaching up he rubbed at it, willing the thought to leave him. She was the daughter of the man funding this entire thing. There was no way she was going to be even slightly interested in him. Stuffing the idea back down into his chest of ‘not-happenings’ he set his menu down. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Wonderful.” Shutting her menu, she waved over to the waitress with a grin on her face. Placing her order, she turned and waited for Cullen to fill his. As the waitress took the menus away Diana picked up her phone. “I just have to text my father and let him know the boat is perfect and that the supplies are on point. He’ll want to know what time we’re leaving. He may just be able to see us off.” Rolling her eyes her fingers flew across the smart phone before she returned it to her purse.

Cullen picked up on the bitter tone that slipped her lips when she uttered the term ‘father’. Unsure about whether or not he should bring it up, something tugged at him. “Are you alright?” His words slipped out before he could tug them back in. “I… thank you for asking.” Diana’s usual bright face cracked for a moment before she plastered on her warm smile. “Don’t worry. We need to focus on those Makos. If your theory holds true, we could make the discover of a lifetime. What do you have planned afterwards?” Leaning on the table with her elbows she was hanging on his next words. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I guess I’m still waiting for my Holy Grail moment. Until then, I don’t really want to think too hard on it. If that makes sense.” Cullen shrugged. “I don’t have the best luck in the world.” His hand began rubbing at his thigh, acting out of memory. “But, I’m sure on this one.”

“I don’t doubt you Cullen. I believe in your work.” Diana’s cheeks tinted softly but before he could get the chance to really dig any further the waitress showed up with their orders in hand. “Dessert is on the house tonight. You two look absolutely adorable together. Congrats you two.” She finished placing the plates down and before Cullen could ask what she meant she was gone. Diana’s stifled snickers caught his attention, “what did she…”

“I think she is of the mind we are on a date, or honeymoon. At least, that’s my impression.” Diana flicked her hair over her shoulder. “I suppose it could appear as such. We clearly have good chemistry between us. I am more than excited to see what we can produce together.” Grinning she nipped the straw from her ice tea. “Unless, of course, you disagree?”

Dumbfounded and unsure he only shook his head slowly, earning another soft chuckle from her. His brow furrowed tightly as he dug into his meal, trying to focus on the next day and a half. There was still a lot to do and he had yet to pack his own bags. Finishing his meal, he wasn’t ready when the server brought the triple layered chocolate cake, a small bowl with whipped cream and ice cream alongside. “I…”

“I do hope you enjoy chocolate Captain.” Diana wore a smirk across her lips as she took the silverware offered by the server. “It looks absolutely divine.”

Cullen gave his best smile and polite nod to the server as he took his fork. He didn’t want to readily admit that he was a closet chocoholic. Taking a bit of the cream and a small stab of cake he slowly savoured the full richness of the fudge filling. “Maker, this is amazing.” He half moaned out as he closed his eyes, enjoying the hint of sweetness that balanced the chocolate. Diana agreed, “I’d come here just for this, any day, for any price.”

Both indulged in the cake until there was nothing but a smear of icing left. “Thank you,” Cullen sighed as he eased back into the chair. “I fear I may have to hit the gym a bit harder later for it, but I won’t complain.”

“What gym do you go to?” Leaning forward Diana brushed a lock of her fiery hair back from her face. “I may see you there later.”

“I have weights and some gear at home. I don’t subscribe to a gym when we’re in working season. I would never find the time.” Chuckling to himself he flicked his wrist, catching the time on his watch. “It is getting late and I have to meet with Dagna and Rylen.”

“Would you terribly mind if I tagged along?” Diana was pulling some bills from her wallet, leaving a fat tip by the bill. Cullen’s brain slowed to a halt. There wasn’t a really good reason for her not to come along, “uh, sure.”

“Great. I didn’t drive over, so mind if I ride along?” She pulled the strap of her purse up over her shoulder and began to stand. “Sure.” Was all Cullen could utter out as he rose. “I’m parked a block from the marina. I needed the walk.”

“After this, so do I.” Patting her flat stomach she snickered, “I usually go for a swim or a run. I’ll enjoy a walk though. The company is pleasurable.” Purring the last bit out she casually looped her arm in his and kept in pace with him. Cullen wasn’t entirely sure how to take her. Shoving his hands in his pockets he toyed with the shark tooth keychain tied to his keys. Running the serrated edge over his calloused thumb he let his mind drift off. Each pass over the knife-like section of bone sent shivers through his spine. It had been from his attack. A parting gift from the bull shark that took his leg. He’d kept it, not aware as to why. It was just a spur of the moment thing when he woke from the surgery. It was laying on a tray near his water, a nurse was standing over him, “Mr. Rutherford, so glad you could join us. Take it easy love, you’ve lost a lot of blood. But you’ll walk away from this.” Patting his shoulder, she pointed down to the tooth, “seems your friend left a going away present. If you don’t want it…”

“No. I do,” his fingers idly reached for it, tracing over the ridges and valleys of the tooth. From that moment on he had kept it. A reminder of what he lost, and how lucky he was. Diana’s voice broke him from his trance. “Cullen, Cullen, are you alright?”

“Ya, ya, sorry. I… uh, it’s nothing.” Trying to offer a smile he looked up to see they’d arrived at the parking lot. “Blue truck, third on the right there.” Tilting his chin towards it he gripped his keys. “Was there something you wanted to know?” Unlocking the door, he held it wide for her to get in. “Yes, actually. If you don’t mind my questions that is.” Seeing him motion for her to continue, Diana waited for him to get into the truck. “Does it hurt?”

“Pardon?!” Cullen half stumbled into the driver’s seat. Recovering quickly his brain raced to figure out where she’d gone with the question. “Hurt? Oh!” His fingers edged around the prosthetic’s rim. “It flares up from time to time. I won’t effect my abilities, I can guarantee that.” Facing forward he put the car in drive and carefully pulled out of the lot. “Why… why did you…”

“You went very pale last night at dinner and I was concerned I’d said something wrong. Rylen informed me of your situation. I hope you don’t mind.” Her voice had softened, and she seemed less imposing. Cullen chewed the inside of his cheek. It wasn’t a secret. Many people in the industry suffered injuries and limb loss from sharks. “I… thank you. It’s fine.” He caught her face in the mirror and he thought he saw he breath out a sigh of relief. ‘What is your goal?’ he wondered to himself as he pulled into the research center. “Rylen and Dagna will be inside. Follow me and watch your step. Dagna is a bit of a messy experimenter.” Leading her inside he caught sight of Rylen, “hey Ry…”

“We have a problem.” Rylen was pacing back and forth on the phone. “Dagna can’t get the tags to talk to the main program. She’s been pulling her hair out all morning. Says the old tags might be affected. We’ll need to…”

“Can I see the algorithm?” Diana’s voice was firm as she laid a hand on Rylen’s shoulder. “My second degree is in tech. Maybe it’s a minor code issue. Sometimes a new set of eyes are needed.”  
“Maker please,” Rylen hung up the phone and wrapped an arm around her. “Lass you may be the thing we need to survive this.”

Cullen chuckled as he whisked her away into the tech lab, Dagna’s slight frame bounced about in the window. Heading to his own office, he plunked down into his chair. Popping open his emails he lost track of the time reading and answering the slew of questions from Shark Week producers and media crews. Dagna’s excited voice and bouncing frame snapped him from his reading. “She did it. She actually did it!” Dagna hopped over to his desk and threw her arms around his neck. “She even boosted the efficiency ratio by twenty-six percent! Can we keep her, please?”

“Dagna. While I appreciate the enthusiasm and that the problem is solved, would you kindly release me.” Her thick arms were choking him. “Oh, sorry!” Jumping down she straightened out her shirt. “We’re all good to leave tomorrow. I want to see if we can find any of the ones we tagged last year. See if your theories are on. I know we’re close.” Giving him a playful thumb up she waited barely for his reply before zipping out of the room. “Good work. If there isn’t anything else, go home and get a good rest in. We leave by nine am tomorrow.” Cullen returned his focus to the screen, knowing that Dagna was too easily excited. Finishing the last couple emails he rubbed at the base of his neck. The muscles ached and throbbed. “Hot tub, I am coming.” Grunting he shut his computer down and rose from his desk. Locking his top drawer, he closed and locked his office door behind him. “Rylen how…”

Giggling caught his attention, coming from Rylen’s office. Tentatively he walked towards the sound, hearing more of Diana’s silvery snickers. “And that’s when Dagna went into the water with the damned thing. Stuck on it’s back, hanging on to the dorsal fin for dear life. She was taken half a knot before she let go. Said she wanted to make sure the bloody radio tag didn’t fall off.” Rylen snorted as he doubled over with laughter, Diana laughing along with him. “Did he tell you the story of how he was pulled in by a Mako?” Cullen leaned against the doorway. Rylen’s eyes bolting to him. “He was baiting the line and tossed it in. His one job was to make sure the Mako didn’t get the tuna. He wasn’t fast enough and instead of dropping the line he held it tight. Went straight over the edge. Mind you, he came back up nearly as fast.” Cullen was wearing a wide smirk as Rylen mouthed, ‘fuck off.’

“Sounds like you all get along well.” Diana wiped at the tear edging her eye. “I hope I can get along as well with you all.”

“You planning on riding a shark or playing bait?” Cullen smiled wide as Rylen choked on his air. “I would prefer you kept all your limbs.” Crossing his arms, he returned his focus to Rylen, “is everything ready on your end?”

“Aye, Captain. All set to go.” Rylen gave a mocking salute that earned him a growl. “If we’re done here, I need to pack some extra nickers. If we’re going to be laughing and playing around, I want a little extra precaution.” Winking at Diana he snorted as she giggled again. “I’ll see you both at the marina.” Tipping his chin, he ducked out the doorway, patting Cullen sharply on the back before walking out the door. “Well, looks like we’re all good here. Is there somewhere I can drop you off? I still need to double check my packing.” Cullen flicked his wrist to see it was nearly dinner time. “Would you can for dinner instead, Captain?” Diana licked her lips as she batted her eyelashes. “A celebration to the team, the new boat, and new blood.”

“Sure.” Leading her out the door he locked up the offices and equipment as they went. Back at his truck he stopped, “anywhere in particular?”

“How about Prohibition Restaurant and Speakeasy? The food is amazing, and the atmosphere is electric. They should have a live singer about now. Why don’t you drive home, and we can call a cab? You’ve earned a drink or two.” Patting his chest, she snickered, “you must try the truffle lobster mac and cheese, it’s so good!”

Chuckling he agreed. Dropping his truck off at his house, he invited her in while the cab came to get them. “Its simple, but its mine.” Cullen nervously waved his arms out. It was a single-story home, tucked away from the loud sounds and lights of the harbor and industrial section of town. There was an ample sized kitchen with a moderate living/dining room. Off the back was his solarium with hot tub, a door leading through to his bedroom. “I’m just going to quickly change, if you don’t mind.” He felt under dressed compared to her, and if they were going somewhere she picked he could guarantee he was under dressed. Slipping into his room, he tugged off his white t-shirt and pulled on a vibrant teal polo shirt. One of the many Rylen had got with their crest on it. ‘Mako Templars’, it had been Rylen’s idea. He’d claimed the fast shark had reminded him of the knights of old. Always rushing in where others dared to tread. Tucking the hem into the front of his khakis he felt better. Checking his hair over he applied a bit more product to keep his curls at bay, before dabbing a bit more of the sandalwood cologne on. Exiting his bedroom, he caught sight of her studying the pictures above the mantle of his fireplace. “Ready.”

“Wow. I didn’t realize it had been so bad,” she looked sad as she held the photo frame in her hands. He didn’t even have to see the image, he knew what it was. It was the photo of him in the hospital. So many tubes, IV’s and instruments hooked up. His dad had taken it. “Something to remember when life gets hard, son.” He’s said when he placed it there. “No matter how bad you think it is, remember this. You beat this. You can beat anything.” Shaking his head, he stuffed his hands into his pockets, “I died twice on the table. Needed almost every drop of blood returned. Got infected. Had to spend almost a year in hospital. The first fitting burned, and I hated it. Threw my leg across the room twice.” Shrugging he walked over to her, “if I can survive and thrive from that, there’s nothing I can’t handle. Or at least that’s what dad used to say.”

“Used to?” Her voice was so much meeker than it had been, and he was certain there was a sadness to it. “Dad passed a few years ago. Heart attack in his sleep. Mom went a year after him. Guess that’s life.” Clearing his throat, he caught sight of the cab pulling into the driveway. “Our ride’s here. You can grill me over a few drinks, if I can return the favor.”

“Deal.” She placed the photo back on the mantle carefully and left with her arm looped in Cullen’s once more.


	4. Just One for the Road

Sitting in the bar, he had enjoyed a fine meal and was sipping away on his forth drink. Feeling the heat swirling through his veins he was trying to hold in a belly laugh. “That’s when my leg popped off and the damn shark snapped it up and swam off.”

“No! Maker, that couldn’t have been cheap to replace.” She was hanging on his every word, equally as drunk as him. Behind them the live singer had been replaced by a DJ who was spinning up dance tunes. “Do you… do you dance? I mean with that” She pointed to his leg as she downed the last of her drink. “Dance? I… I can, but I’m not very good.” He followed suit and finished off the mouthful of amber liquid left in his tumbler. Before he could protest or utter another word Diana had taken his hand and begun to pull him towards the dance floor. Not wanting to knock her over, he simply gave in to her. He was nearly double her size and could have easily overpowered her. Instead the petite woman, stumbling on her four-inch heels, dragged him out. Picking a spot with enough room she put her hands around his neck, looping her wrist lazily as she swayed to the music. “Just let it move you.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, breathing in the unique scent of the club. Liquor and food swirled with sweat and perfumes. Cullen instinctively placed his hands on her hips, marveling at how slim she was. His hands felt like they perfectly fit in the dip of her hip. When she pressed herself against him, he couldn’t help the warmth that echoed through his chest. Almost on queue the DJ threw on a slower song, “alright we’ve partied pretty hard up to this point. Let’s take a moment to bring it down for a couple songs. Single ladies, single men, find someone out there or grab your friend! Just get your butts on the dance floor!”

His head swam but the music anchored him, the vibrations of the bass guitar ran through the flooring and up through him. It was a newer song and even though he didn’t know it, everything felt good. He licked his lips, watching her disappear into the song he scanned her features, committing them to his hazy memory. She was busty, her cleavage pushed up in her low-cut top. Each inch of exposed skin was glistening a wonderful bronze. Her jawline was heart shaped, leading up to her sharp cheek bones. She was wearing a smokie eye shadow, and for a moment he hated the music. It stole her perfect emerald eyes from him and he so wanted to lose himself in them. Her hair was twisted up, sections breaking free in loose coils to rest against her shoulders.

“Cullen,” she moaned out, slowly lifting her head back up, “thank you.”

“For what?” He cradled her neck, helping her stand up straight. “I should be thanking you. It’s been a long time since I’ve cut loose.” When her head straightened up, her eyes fluttered open and he couldn’t help the smile that painted his lips. “Cullen, you are wearing the most amazing smile.” Diana relaxed her grip, taking her hand back to run a finger down his nose and press it to his lips. “Amazing.” Cullen’s response was to break into a roar of a laugh. “You, my lady, are drunk.”

“So are you, my Captain.” She purred the title, sultry and thick as she leaned in, resting her forehead against his chest. “Perhaps, we should go home. Before… before things go wrong.”

“Go wrong?” Cullen tried to catch her eyes, but she began to pull away. “I’ll call a ride,” stumbling back over to the bar she waved over the bartender who clearly knew her and chatted with them. Cullen shoved his hands back in his pockets, and empty feeling crept over his chest. There was something all together natural about how she felt in his arms, how carefree and relaxed she was. Leaning on his good leg he wanted to remember this, despite the haze already beginning to edge his memory. Looking up he caught sight of her walking towards him, two bottles of water in her hands. “Drink and let’s sit outside. It’s a lovely night.”

“While we wait for a cab?” He snickered as she looped her arm in his and led him out the door. “My father is sending a car. Much more reliable with a drunken lady than some random Miami taxi service. He is a bit picky about these things.”

“Can’t fault him for wanting to protect you.” Unscrewing the cap to his water bottle he downed a quarter of it in a few quick gulps. Replacing his cap, he noticed she’d gone quiet. “Di…”

“I’m fine.” She snapped back, staring at the ground. Cullen didn’t know how to handle it, believing he said something wrong he wished to change it. “Hey, tonight was great. We… we should do it again some time. My treat though.” Seeing her begin to shiver he instinctively went to wrap his arm around her. He was more than hot enough to keep her warm. When his arm hit her waist she flinched, just briefly before she pressed herself against him, resting her head upon his shoulder. “Are you…”

“Just cold and tired. It has nothing to do with you, Cullen. Thank you.” They sat in silence for several more minutes, until a black car pulled up with dark, nearly illegally tinted windows. “Ms. Trevelyan,” a man in a full suit opened the door and quickly came to hold the back-seat door open. “Where do you wish to go tonight? Your usual overnight pack is in the back. I will await your choice.” He didn’t make eye contact with Cullen, just stood, waiting for them to get in. “Cullen…” her voice cracked as she peered over at him. “I know this may seem a bit forward but…”

“Hey, ya come over, it’s… it’s fine. We’re colleagues, right?” Cullen instantly wanted to punch himself in the face. Colleagues. That was the word his drink addled brain scrambled out. Waiting he prayed it was what she wanted to hear. “Thank you.” She relaxed back into the seat, easing herself into him. “Would you give Sten the address, please.” Tapping her fingernails on the window that brokered the area between the front and back seat they waited. Sten slipped open the glass, his voice static and emotionless, “yes Ms. Trevelyan. Have you a destination in mind?”

Cullen cleared his throat and gave his information to Sten. Without another word the window was closed, and the car began to meander its way through the city. Cullen didn’t say much the sudden thought of the rich heiress spending the night in his house killed his drunkenness instantly. She should take the bed, and he’d sleep on the couch. It was a nice couch, he’d fallen asleep on it many times before. No big deal. But his brain returned to her words in the bar. About her father being concerned about her enough to send a driver. Yet, here he was taking her in for the night. Things weren’t adding up. Coupling that with her reaction when he spoke on it, he felt something was a miss. She was too drunk to provide him the answers he wanted and after the great evening he didn’t want to start their month-long expedition with her raging at him. Filing it away he tried to remain relaxed as the car coasted up the driveway to his house.

His door open, Sten holding it wide, “we’ve arrived. If you require me further, Ms. Trevelyan you need simply call.” His brow quirked up at the straight-faced man scanned up and down Cullen. “Take care of her, or I’ll take care of you. Sir.” Sten’s words didn’t need to be harsh, nor did his tone. His eyes and posture spoke enough. Cullen nodded back, “of course. You have my word.”

Diana huffed and snatched her bag up, “thank you Sten, I’d like to get inside now. Please.” Biting out the last word she crossed her arms. Cullen was quick to walk around the emotionless hulk to unlock his front door. Looking over his shoulder, he watched as Sten calmly got back into his car and drove off. “Diana you…”

“I’ll take the couch. It’s unfair to kick you out of your bed. Especially when you are needed tomorrow.” She was digging through her bag, a make up kit in her hand. “No, I’m fine. I like that couch. Do some of my best napping on it. Take the bed. Please.”

Diana stood for a moment, clearly at war with herself. Finally, her shoulders dropped, “alright. Have it your way Captain. But let me treat you to breakfast in the morning, please.”

“Done deal. Now go. It’s clean, I promise.” Waving her off towards his room he sunk into the armchair next to the couch. “Good night, Cullen.” She scooped up her bag and disappeared into his room. Waiting for several minutes he felt the nagging ache of his body and cold chill slip over him. Rising he went to the solarium. Stripping down, as he always did, he eased himself into the water. Resting his neck along the edge he closed his eyes and let the world fade away, only the constant humming of the jets filled his senses.

Opening his eyes again he released he’d drifted off into a light sleep. Rubbing at his eyes he leaned up, his neck and upper shoulders stiff. Dipping down into he water, he groaned when the water licked at the aches. Splashing some of the hot water over his face he let out a long gush of air. There was a shower in the solarium, he’d had it installed to be able to clean up before re-entering his house. Climbing out of the tub he hobbled the few steps to it. Turning it up as hot as he could handle he washed his hair, and his body off. Grabbing a fresh towel from the hook he dried himself best he could. Wrapping it tightly about his hips he trudged back into the living room, using the cane he kept by the door. Pulling open the storage bench ottoman he tugged out a blanket and pillow. Slapping them on the couch he sighed. He didn’t really want to sleep with a towel around himself, but all his clothes were in his room or packed away. He’d done that late last night. Residing to his fate, he curled up on the couch and within a few awkward moments, managed to get comfortable and fall asleep.

His head pounded as his cellphone alarm went off. Fumbling with the blanket he became aware he wasn’t in his bed. Cracking an eye open he reached for his phone on the coffee table. Slowly sitting up he ran his hands down his face. He heard the water running from the shower in his room. Tightening the towel back around his hips, he used his cane to get to the secondary bathroom. Cleaning up a bit he returned to the living room. “Coffee…” mumbling he began to make a pot. It was going to take a few minutes to brew and the ache in his body was intense. ‘Just a short soak should make everything better.’ Heading into his solarium he hung his towel up and sunk into the water. Running his finger tips over the stomp of his leg, he felt more alert by the moment. ‘My bags are already in the back of the trunk. Just need to eat, dress and get to the marina. Hope Rylen and Dagna are ready for this.’ He went back over the list of things, feeling as if he’d forgotten something. “Fuck.” He groaned resting his head back. He’d forgotten his swimming leg. It was still at the repair shop and he wasn’t entirely sure if they were open that early.

“Cullen?” Diana’s voice broke him from his thoughts. “I’m…uh… in the solarium.” Twisting the dial on the jets he sunk down till his chest was submerged. Hoping the bubbles and whirling water would cover his lack of swim gear. “What did you want for breakfast?” She poked her head through the door leading to his room. “Oh! Why didn’t you tell me you had a hot tub?!”

“You never asked.” Shifting under the water to cover himself better he forced himself to smile, “I’m not picky for breakfast. Whatever you want.”

“How about breakfast in here!” Waving her hand over the hot tub she nearly squealed as she raced back into his room. Unsure what to do he was frozen in place. If she were to return while he was getting out he’d expose more than his cheeky side to her. That made his cheeks burn straight up to his ear tips. However, if he stayed in the tub he risked her getting too close and discovering his lack of clothing personally. She did enjoy being close to him since the moment they met. Swallowing hard he was torn between choices, neither comforting. Before he could make up his mind, Diana stuck her head back into the room, “Cullen, I’ve ordered breakfast. It should be here shortly. Is there anything you need?”

“My... uh… spare swim shorts are in my room. Behind the door.” He couldn’t bring himself to look up, her giggle breaking the awkwardness of his situation. “I didn’t even think of that. I’m sorry Cullen. One moment.” She skipped back around the corner. Suddenly he was splashed by the hot tub water as his shorts slapped the water in front of him. Quickly he tugged them under, struggling to get them up. Just as he was tying them she came back fully into the room. Standing there in a string bikini. “Di…”

“Well I didn’t expect this little slice of heaven when you invited me in.” Taking a slow step in she sighed. “I needed this after a night of drinking. Helps purge the alcohol and feels damn good too.” Lowering herself in she floated across from him. “A four-man tub is a bit big though for your needs isn’t it?”

“I’m a large man, and I like my space.” There was still a throbbing between his eyes from the drink, despite having downed the entire bottle. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to will the hangover away. Closing his eyes, he drew in a long deep breath, counting to ten before releasing it again. Just like Leliana had taught him in rehab. It was a good way to deal with pain, to take back control of his body. He really jumped out of the water when he felt her hand rest on his bad leg. “Maker!” His eyes shot open to see Diana had crossed the small spans and was resting her hand on his thigh. “Diana….”

“Forgive my curiosity. Does the warmth help?” Her fingers lightly traced down towards the well healed stump and Cullen froze. The pounding between his eyes nearly blinded him. “Uh…” Before he could answer the front doorbell rang and Diana quickly jumped out of the hot tub, wrapping a towel around herself. “I’ll be right back.”

Throwing his head back he began rubbing circles at his temples. It’d been forever, or at least it had felt like it. After the attack he’d take a year to recover. A very painful and emotional year. From there, schooling took complete control over his life. Consuming him until he was the best on campus. He’d hidden his leg, hidden his pain, popping over the counter painkillers at first. One day those stopped working. Then it was alcohol. Lots of it. He didn’t need it, it just took the edge off. But he didn’t like how it affected him. He couldn’t drive, couldn’t function the way he wanted to. After more than a year out of university and working under an expedition team, he couldn’t handle the pain anymore. He made an appointment with a doctor known for handing prescriptions out like candy, and he took one. At first, he felt great, the pain was gone and he could function again. But it didn’t last. He needed more, and more until he could feel his skin itching if he didn’t take them. That was two years ago, and it had all been a terrible blur. His friend Rylen had started the company with him, getting all the government paperwork done, securing funding and equipment. Bringing Dagna on board. All while he secretly drove him to rehab. Checked up on him, they funding helped pay for it all. This was his chance to make a name for himself, to pay back Rylen and Dagna for their kindness. He hadn’t even thought of anything else. Now his mind was racing. He could feel where her fingers had graced his leg, the fire building in his stomach, but there was also anxiety tied to it. He was a broken man, he made no claims otherwise. His fingers danced over the area she’d gently touched. “What…”

“Breakfast!” Diana smiled brightly as she brought a large tray over towards the tub. “I hope you don’t mind me digging a bit. Didn’t think it was a good idea to have all those wrappers and bags near water. Much nicer to eat off plates, like civilized people.” Placing the tray next to him she slipped into the water. “How’s your hangover?” She carried on as if nothing had happened and Cullen didn’t know what else to do but to go along. “My eyes want to pop out of my head, but I’ll be alright.”

“I have some Advil in my…”

“NO!” Cullen had shouted it so fast she nearly dropped the tray into the water. “I mean, uh… Its totally fine. Just… just need to drink a bit of water and I’ll be fine.” Taking the tray, he carefully positioned it on the edge and began to work through the meal. She didn’t reply, instead focusing on eating as well. Afterwards, Cullen pointed towards the shower, “if you wish to shower off before we go, it’s fully stocked.” He was already halfway out of the tub and heading towards his bedroom when he heard her gasp. “What…” Following her line of sight, he flinched. She was staring directly at the stump of his left leg. He wasn’t sure how to take it, or if he should say anything. Grabbing his cane, he waited a moment, seeing if she’d say anything else. When silence was his answer he continued. “I’m going to shower and change. I’ll be out in fifteen, if you need your stuff I’ll leave the door unlocked.” His shower had fully frosted glass doors, so he wasn’t concerned about her seeing anything. Hobbling off to his bedroom he walked straight into the shower and prepared for the day. A quick glance at his alarm clock gave him the time, eight o’clock. He had an hour. More than enough time. Shutting the bathroom door, he got into the shower.


	5. Testing, One, Two, Three

The drive over to the marina was quiet, only the radio play songs from the nineties filling the space about him. Parking and grabbing his gear he managed to arrange his swimming leg be dropped off. Rylen had message that it was already in his cabin and that he was in love with the new boat. He was curious at to the name on the skiff, but Cullen wasn’t going to let him off so easily. Slinging his duffle bag over his shoulder he locked his truck up and led Diana towards the pier. “What did you name her?” Diana clutched her small travel bag tightly against herself as she kept up with him. “You’ll see.” He grinned as they walked the boardwalk towards the boat. She was sitting, shining in the bright morning rays. “She’s beautiful.” He grinned as he quickened his pace. 

“Cullen!” Dagna practically squealed as she rushed down the dock towards him. “It’s perfect! We need to get her out there. Test her reaction times, the sonar, radar, see if we can catch any of the blips and beeps!” She bounced along side him, rushing him forward. “Rylen’s already inside. Same with the camera people. Still lots of room and a lab. They gave me a floating lab!”

“Easy Dagna. We’re on the water, not dry dock. Don’t need you rocking the boat to the bottom of the ocean.” He chuckled waving to Rylen who was working to secure the new extra sized diving cage. “Everything to your liking?” He bellowed over the chattering crowd. “Perfect!” Rylen shouted back, giving them a thumbs up. “Aye, lass, ya did well.”

“Thank you,” Diana returned the thumbs up as they all boarded onto the boat. “I’m sorry my father couldn’t be here to see us off. Unfortunately, the christening ceremony falls to me, and I carefully place it in the hands of our Captain, may he sail long and well.” Reaching over she took the champagne bottle from someone dressed in a suit, cameras clicking as they were recording. Cullen cleared his throat as he took the bottle in hand. He’d prepared a little speech but now it had all gone out the window. Instead he took the edge of the sticker covering the decal and carefully removed in. “The Mako Templars ship Penance is ready for her maiden voyage. We will discover the pupping grounds of the Mako shark and if we manage to get any extra information, we’ll count ourselves blessed. We’re ready, willing and prepared for our month-long journey. With this, I hereby say we are officially underway.” Swinging the bottle, it smashed against the hull, all around cheering and clapping. Hopping carefully back into the boat, Cullen gave Rylen the nod and they began removing the tethers and pulling up the anchor. 

Half an hour later they were coasting out of the marina and out towards the open ocean. Dagna was busy with her radar and sonar, scanning for any traces of the ones they’d tagged last year. Rylen had set the ship to sail towards the same coordinates as last year. Everyone was on pins and needles as they headed out into open water. 

With everyone working away where they needed to be Cullen was in his quarters, trying desperately to make the pain stop. Laying on his back he was working the muscle of his thigh, digging his fingers in and cursing under his breath. He was sweating again, his limb felt like it was on fire. With his eyes closed he was trying to run through the deep breathing exercises Leliana had taught him, but his mind couldn’t focus. It was beginning to overwhelm him, and he was tail spinning into a full-on panic attack. With his heart beating like a war drum in his ears he didn’t catch the soft sound of feet padding into his quarters, or the gentle click of the door closing behind them. “Stress, it’s just stress.” Cullen was repeating as his hand released his leg to drive both heels of his palms into his eyes. The pressure was something to focus on. Only the sudden shift of the bed by his leg caused him to move. “Maker!” 

“May I?” Diana’s eyes were pleading as she sat next to his leg, his artificial leg left haphazardly on the floor beneath her. “May…what?” He was borderline delirious from the pain and he couldn’t process what she was asking of him. “I…pain…”

“I’m here.” Carefully she unclipped his belt, and pulled the button open on his pants. He was dead weight and being in so much pain he couldn’t move. She tugged his pant leg off, leaving his full leg in his pants. Exposing the stump, she carefully began to massage it. Her fingers applied just the right amount of pressure, easing and soothing the firing nerves and he gradually felt the pain begin to ebb away. In it’s wake he felt his eyelids grow heavy. “I… I…” his words didn’t want to come out, his tongue tangling and his brain unable to select them. Before he was aware of it, he was asleep. 

When he woke up, he wasn’t entirely sure how long he’d been asleep for, but he could tell he was alone. “Josephine, what time is it?” He sat up on the bed, realizing his pants were a skew. He listened to the disembodied voice as he fixed his clothing and reattached his leg. “It is currently two o’clock in the afternoon. The weather is clear, and the winds is blowing at twelve miles per hour periodically. We have encountered no issues and will be arriving at our destination within the hour. You have one video message ready to be played.”

“Alright, display video.” Still unsure how the technology worked he approached the viewing screen. Soon a large image appeared, a brutish looking man in a pristine business suit smiled eerily at him. “I’m glad you had the time to access this video. It’s a job well done getting as far as you have, Captain. But I digress, let me introduce myself. I am the financer of this effort. My name is Ulrich Trevelyan, and you, so I have been told are the Captain. A one, Cullen Stanton Rutherford.” He was reading from a piece of paper held out before him. With the name read aloud he placed it back down below where the camera was panned. “You have my daughter aboard your ship. My youngest,” his voice seemed distant and uncaring as he gave a slow shrug of his shoulders. “This is her idea of ‘fun.’ I need to see some return for her fun, Professor Rutherford. She needs to have ample opportunity to shine in the lime light. What you do with her outside of the cameras, I care not. But she must promote the Trevelyan name sake!” His waved his finger at the screen, clearly meaning every word. “Now, with that, I wish you all the best of luck. I look forward to the results.” Smiling the video cut out.

Cullen stood with his fists clenched tightly, Josephine’s voice filled the air, “would you like to respond to Mr. Trevelyan?” 

“No. Just, shut it off.” Cullen paced back to the bed and plopped down on the edge. He flexed his fingers out, not realizing he’d been clenching his fists so tightly during the video. It was a lot to take in. Did she know about this? What did he mean by any of that? His mind was spinning a thousand miles per second and he still had work to do. “Josephine, pull up the radar and sonar tags for the Makos from last years venture.” Standing before the glass he watched as the two dozen numbers populated the board. “Explain the colour coordination Josephine.”

“Grey are tags that have failed to return a ping. Orange are locations tags, ones that have been going off. Red are tags that are defective, sending intermittent data. Green are actively moving sonar tags.” Josephine highlighted the different numbers showing the different data points. “The map is based off satellite data collected less than thirteen seconds ago.” 

“Thank you, that’s all for now Josephine.” Turning away he went towards the door leading into the heart of the ship. Pacing himself he was still going over the video message, and the time he’d spent with Diana. Arriving at the lab he gave a sharp knock before entering. Dagna was busy fine turning a batch of new tags. “Everything working well?”

“More than well silly, I could build an entire army of tags. You just need to get me the fish!” Dagna pushed the magnifying glasses up off her nose. “How are you feeling, you look a little pale. Want a drink? Have you eaten?” Instantly Dagna was the worried mother of the group, always concerned about everything. “I’m fine, thanks. You seen Rylen?” 

“Oh ya! He’s preparing for our anchor point. Should be up on the observatory deck with Diana. Before you race off, hit the kitchen and get something. We need you strong for the next thirty days. I am not dealing with the camera people.” She shook her head and the glasses slipped back down into place. “Now get moving! I have to be ready in less than an hour!” Waving him out he didn’t fight her. She was right, he hadn’t eaten since breakfast and his stomach was beginning to grumble. Now might be the only chance to eat until late tonight. 

Getting lost twice he managed to finally find the kitchen. He was glad for the silence, only the constant hum of the motor filled his senses. Digging through the supplies he found himself something small to snack on before making his way towards the observation deck. Rounding the corner, he nearly bumped face first into a tall lanky bald man. “Oh, I’m sorry.” Cullen paused trying to remember the man’s name. “You are…”

“Dr. Solas. Mr. Trevelyan hired me as the medic for this expedition. You must be the Captain,” extending his hand his grip was firm as they shook. “One of the camera members is experiencing a bit of seasickness. We’re attempting sea bands and some ginger tea. She’ll be ready to film once we arrive.”

“Thank you for the update Dr. Solas. Look forward to not having to use your services. No offense.” Sharing a short chuckle with him, Cullen pushed past him and continued towards the deck. Stepping out into the fresh sea air he drew in a deep breath. It always calmed him. Always felt right, being on the water. The sun was still high in the sky and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. Taking a moment to soak in the sights he caught the now familiar sound of Diana’s giggle coming from the front of the boat. Following it he caught Rylen’s conversation, “you know lass, this is more a party boat with you supply choices than a research vessel. The liquor stocks are near triple what we bring.”

“Triple? And here I thought I was being stingy.” Diana laughed again as Cullen finally caught sight of the two. She was practically in his lap, Rylen’s arm securely around her waist as they sat on a bench by the front of the ship. Rylen was still wearing the same outfit he’d begun their journey in, but she’d changed. Now lounging in the same tantalizing string bikini from the morning, with a pair of hip hugging jean shorts. There was a tightness in his chest when he saw them together, how she patted his chest and laughed at Rylen’s jokes. It was uncomfortable and with a quick turn on his heel he stormed back towards his quarters. 

Drink. Something had snapped inside and when he arrived in his room, he had Josephine display real time pings on all the tags. Monitoring them for any movement as he cracked open the bottle of honey bourbon. His private supply, or at least that’s what he assumed when he opened the cabinet. There was an ice machine, near it and tumblers. Plunking a few cubes in, he poured till the liquor nearly reached the top. Settling into an oversized leather desk chair he began to drink. Rylen had everything under control. He’d have the crew weigh anchor and check everything before calling it a night. It would be near dinner time when they were set and once darkness fell they wouldn’t be able to do much. They’d need him tomorrow, and right now he just wanted to disappear. 

Everything came rushing back. All the insecurities, all the old pain. Why would she want him when Rylen was normal? No phantom pains, no addiction issues, two legs. His mind was whirling. Her father flashed before his eyes, clearly uninterested in her other than to promote the family name. Finishing the tumbler, he reached to pour himself another one when the intercom buzzed. “What is it?” He grumbled barely caring who heard him. “Captain, the cook is preparing dinner and it will be served at eighteen hundred hours. Will you be taking it private or in the mess?” He didn’t recognize the voice. Chalking it up to the team put together by Diana he answered sharply, “private, on time. That’s all.” Clipping the intercom, he didn’t care for a reply. 

When dinner arrived at his door he’d polished off nearly half of the bottle. “Josephine, open the door.” He composed himself enough to look half aware as the door slid open. With his eyes locked on the charts he wasn’t paying attention to who was carrying the tray. “Cullen…” Diana let out a soft gasp as she placed the tray down and picked up the bottle. “Are you…”

“I’m fine.” He didn’t turn to look at her. Couldn’t bare to. If he looked at her now he wouldn’t be able to control himself and that was something he refused to do. “Josephine, ETA to expedition location.” His words were slurring but not enough that the VI couldn’t pick it up. “Due to a shift in wind our timing is off. Estimated time of arrival, two hours, seven minutes and thirty-four seconds. If wind conditions and speeds are maintained. If there is a…”

“Thank you, Josephine. That will be all.” Half slamming the tumbler down he could feel her presence still in the room. “Is there something more, Ms. Trevelyan?” 

Silence, awkward and thick began to blanket the space between them. “Josephine,” Diana spoke, and the system acknowledged her. “Are there any video logs available?” Cullen snapped around in his chair as Josephine confirmed her request. “Play it.” Diana’s arms where locked tight against her chest as she watched the same thing Cullen had several hours before. When the projection clipped out her cheeks her blazing red. “Cullen. I didn’t know. You have to…”

“To what? My expedition, my chance to make a difference and I’m to give all the credit away. I knew this was too good to be true.” Knocking back the last of his drink his hand reached for the bottle, only to have Diana swipe it away from him. He ground his teeth hard, unable to find the right words to say. “Cullen, this… this won’t help. I…”

“You’ll what? Sway Rylen to your side? Maybe get in Dagna’s good books. Who needs the crippled fuck up when you all seem to have it together.” Trying to stand his leg buckled and he came tumbling down to the floor. Hitting his arm on the desk he couldn’t catch himself properly and smashed his cheek against the cold metal floor. It didn’t register. Everything felt numb. Trying to stand up his prosthetic leg came out of it’s housing. Stumbling again he fell forward. Giving up he rolled to his back, shielding his eyes with his arm. “Just leave me.” With his eyes closed and the alcohol making everything shift and move he was trying to make it all stop spinning. “No.” Her voice was firm as she reached down to roughly tug his pant leg up, “someone has to tend to this mess and I won’t leave it to the others.” Her voice was shaking as she spoke, but Cullen didn’t move. She reattached his leg and tugged his pant leg back down. “Why… why do you bother?” Cullen tried to heave his frame into a half sit only to slump upon his elbows, the throbbing a comforting sensation. Her fingers gripped tightly on his chin swung his eyes to hers, “you may believe my. Father. And his nonsense but I assure you I am here for one reason and one reason only. I believe in you. I am here for you.” Her cheeks were painted a deep crimson as she spoke, her emerald eyes carried a fire he wasn’t certain could exist. “Now, the crew needs their Captain. Get up.” Half tossing his chin back at him she stood and walked over to the tray she’d brought in.

Cullen watched her pour a glass full of ice before topping it with water. “What are you…” He grumbled hauling himself up to sit back in his chair. “Trying to get through your thick skull.” She growled back “I should get you something for your headache. Dr. Solas…”

“No. No painkillers.” He was about to get up when she shoved him back into the chair. “I…”

“I’m aware there is something you aren’t telling me. The distinct lack of medicine in your quarters is a bit of a clue. The amount of alcohol Rylen requested be placed in your quarters was also a clue. Are you going to level with me or do I need to start pulling?” Perching herself on the edge of his desk she was staring straight into his eyes. “I… I suppose since you’re funding this you should know.” Cullen swallowed hard his hand reached for the water, taking in a long swig before answering her. “I am a recovering addict. Painkillers. I can’t be near them. I’ve been clean for six months.” Hanging his head, he felt the fool. He should have told her sooner, should have made sure the damn medic on board was aware of it too. “Thank you,” her hand rested atop of his, warm and tender. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I’ll be sure Dr. Solas knows and that we keep it locked away. Is that why you drink? For the pain?” Her tone had shifted again, back to that sweet, softness he was beginning to love. “Yes, and no. I… it helps sometimes.” He didn’t want to admit that seeing her with Rylen had spurred him to it, the pain adding to his thirst as well. Easier to blame that then admit he may be jealous. He had no right to be jealous. Drinking down some more water he closed his eyes. “I’m a wreck. You should… you should go. I’ll be fine. Enjoy some time with Rylen, he’s… a good man.” Resigning himself to the hangover that would come he turned his attentions away from her. “I need to sober up.” 

“Cullen I…”

“Please. I promise we can talk later. I just… need to be alone.” 

“Fine.” Diana rose from her seat at the edge of his bed. “I will hold you to that promise Cullen. We’ll have a nice long talk, no booze. No secrets. Deal?” Standing before his desk she waited for him to acknowledge her before she made he way towards a door, “Josephine, lock the Captain’s quarters. Allow permissions to no one unless specified by the Captain. Effective immediately. Authorization Trevelyan D.” 

“Yes Ms. Trevelyan, Captain’s quarters are on lock down.” 

“Thank you, that is all Josephine. I expect that tray to be eaten, you’ll need your strength.” Those were her last words as she gently closed the door behind her.


	6. Radar or Sonar

He intended to speak with her, that much was true, but it seemed everything was out to prevent it. When he sobered up, and rested he was throw straight into the planning phase. Rylen was set to dive in the cage and check out the last place they caught and tagged a Mako. That particular shark was named Sera. It was always causing trouble for them. First the tag nearly fell off and the second time she cut Rylen’s side as he released her. As Cullen prepared himself to speak with Diana the sonar tag attached to her fin had begun to send signal. “She’s back!” Dagna’s voice was half screaming into the intercom as he made his way to the research deck.

“She’s literally right underneath us,” Diana was checking the screens with Dagna as Rylen scrabbled to get his wetsuit on. Blackwall and Iron Bull were already beginning to get the rigging and the oxygen lines set up. “Don’t get too excited.” Cullen held his hand out to Dagna. “This is a hot area for Bulls and Tigers. She may have been eaten and that tag may be in the belly of a brute. We need to be careful.”

“Such a spoil sport.” Dagna huffed, “my baby is down there. I know it! I can feel it!” Tugging on Cullen’s arm she pointed to Diana. “Come on let her run the beeps and the blinks. Let me dive with Rylen. I never get to dive with Rylen!”

“I can handle it Captain.” Diana was short with him, her back facing him as she began typing away and checking on the tags. “Go for it Dagna. Can’t say I never let you have fun.” Sighing heavily Cullen was nearly bulled over as the stout woman burst forth from the room. “I…”

“We need to focus on this find. I have four different radar tags blinking near by. If this is your last tag with the sonar tag we need to focus on getting samples. She may be ready to pup or has just pupped.” Again, she didn’t turn to face him, setting up a kit to get samples from the shark. Feeling his moment lost he quietly dipped out of the room. Rushing best he could towards the back half of the boat he made it in time to help Rylen get his camera loaded up. “Alright, we need measurements and see if we can…”

“I know Captain, I’m no rookie here.” Chuckling he patted Cullen on the shoulder. “The film crew has a diver they’re getting into the water with me. Have their own handler as well. Still want you in my ear mate.” Grinning he pointed to his back. “Mind finishing?”

“I’ve got you.” Cullen smiled back, and the two men began hooking up the oxygen tanks and camera equipment. “Get the cage in the water, easy as she goes.” Cullen bellowed over to Blackwall and Iron Bull who were waiting for his queue. Stuffing the ear piece in his right ear, Cullen clicked it on. “Testing, one, two, Rylen am I clear?”

“Crystal, Captain.” Rylen smiled wide as the mic clipped off. “The cage is ready boss!” Bull shouted as they began setting out the oxygen lines for the other camera crew. “Rylen?” Cullen saw him move towards the cage, “I’m ready.” Rylen shot him a thumbs up before pressing his full mask to his face and jumping into the cage.

As Rylen disappeared into the depths, Cullen rushed over to monitor his oxygen levels and the location with the fish finder. Keeping his eyes glued to the screens he spoke into the mic, “there’s a lot of activity down there. Not many big ones but definitely active.”

“Tons of them down here!” Rylen excitedly proclaimed. “It’s a Mako heaven Captain!” Cullen nearly jumped out of his seat, “please tell me we something, please!”

“I’ve got a pair mating, now, on camera!” Rylen was so excited Cullen had to warn him to relax less he use up his supplies. “This has to be a mating ground. Damnit, we were so close to this last year, we must have missed the window.”

“Which means we’ll miss the pupping window this year,” Cullen groaned loudly as he let the fact his dream find might slip from his fingers. “No, don’t give up yet Captain. Sera’s here and she’s pregnant! She’s gorgeous!”

“Dagna’s coming down. She’s got a tagging kit. Think we can land a couple?” Cullen waited as Dagna slipped over the edge into the cage. “If she’s ready to, I think we can possibly land one or two. Might give us a better chance at getting this right.” Rylen clipped out and Dagna’s voice broke it. “Cullen! It’s amazing, you need to see this!”

“Take lots of video and pictures for me.” Cullen chuckled as he sat back in the chair. This was it. Popping open a small pocket book he began running numbers. “If I’m right and Sera is pregnant we may just catch her passing through to the pupping grounds. It’ll be close, and we’ll need to be ready but it’s there.”

Silence answered him on the radio and for a moment he was concerned, “who got eyes on Dagna and Rylen? Bull?”

“He’s alright boss, I got him.” Bull waved as the coms clicked back on. “We got two tagged, mating couple. We may know more with these new tags. They’re incredible!” Rylen chuckled, “we’re coming up.” Cullen felt a wave of relief wash over him as the sun began to crest over the edge of the horizon.

Once everyone was pulled back up and the cage anchored to the side, they went down to the research lab. Diana was still working away at the computers, “the tags are talking perfectly to the system. Incredible work you two. Can’t wait to see the video!” Followed closely behind them was the film crew. “Don’t mind us, we’ll film and edit what you don’t want out. Gotta fill two hours of tv, minus commercials.”

Keeping things as normal as they could they went over the data as Rylen took the memory chip out of his camera. “Load this up, you need to see this.” Diana took the chip and carefully inserted it into the computer. “I’ll make copies for everyone and store the data on a cloud server. One moment and I’ll get it to play.”

Huddled around the boat listed lightly side to side in the steady current as they watched the film. All thirty minutes of it. Cullen was stunned, “this is amazing!”

“We’ll need to do a day dive tomorrow, see what we can get.” Letting out a yawn Cullen tried to shake it off. Rylen gripped his arm tight, locking eyes with him he pitched his voice low. “Get some sleep. You’ve had a long day. Not much more we can do till day break. I’ll hold the fort down for you, get things set up.”

Trying to protest only had him uttering another low yawn. Giving Rylen a nod he smiled, “thanks. Breakfast on the deck?”

“Always.” Rylen clapped him again and half spun him towards the door. Taking his not-so-subtle motion, Cullen calmly paced past the small camera crew and back towards his room. When the door shut behind him he let out a long-held breath. “Josephine, allow access to my quarters to Diana Trevelyan and Second in command, Rylen. That will be all for tonight.”

“Yes, Captain.” Josephine’s sweet voice answered as the doors clicked shut. Peeling off his clothes he threw himself on his bed, in nothing but his boxers. Barely pulling the blankets up over himself he felt his leg snag up on the bed. Grumble he unbuckled the straps hold it on and haphazardly tossed it off the edge. Roughly rearranging the blanket, it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep.

Sleep was fitful, waking several times to readjust his pillow, cover himself again after the blanket fell to the floor, or his leg would flare up. Waking for the seventh time he felt a change in the room. Scrubbing at his eyes he looked over at the clock, three twenty-six in the morning. Rolling over again he decided to get up. Better to get some work done, then lay in bed restless for another hour or two. Sitting up he mumbled out the words, “Josephine, status report on all fronts.”

“The radar tags are sending pings every minute as per calibrations. Several sharks tagged last season have been found. Listed are: Hawke, Justice, Carver, Isabela and Morrigan. Your night shift crew have reported no issues and all systems appear to be functioning at optimum levels. You have no new phone calls. Two unread text messages, both from your contact listed as Sister. You have three unread emails. One from Ulrich Trevelyan. One from Dagna and one from Varric Tethras.”

Cursing under his breath he felt the twinge of pain spark across the stump of his leg. “Josephine, read the email from Ulrich Trevelyan.” He didn’t really want to read it himself and somehow, he figured the soft voice of Josephine might brunt Ulrich’s words. “Email sent at nine forty-three pm yesterday. Dear Mr. Rutherford, I do hope this finds you in good spirits. I wanted to inform you of how disappointed I am in your ability to keep our conversation private. My daughter managed to come across my private video message. One I did not wish her to hear. You are on thin ice, Mr. Rutherford. Very thin. Your expedition has twenty-nine days to come up with results. Marketable results. Otherwise I may be forced to take actions untoward someone of my caliber. I wonder if Mr. Tethras was aware of your out patient treatment at the Andraste Center for the Infirm? Tick, tock Captain. End of email. Do you wish me to continue with the next message?”

His fists were clenched so tightly he could feel his blunt finger nails carving into the palms of his hands. “No, thank you Josephine. That will be all for now.” Fully awake and angry he didn’t bother to dress. Strapping his leg back on he paced back and forth. Did Diana contact her father? How did Ulrich find out about it and how did he find out about his stay at the clinic? He had been careful. Used an assumed name. Never removed his pants, and never spoke of his leg outside of private counselling sessions. Stewing over the thought he figured he’d give it a try, “Josephine. Are you programmed to report to Ulrich Trevelyan?”

“No. All communications are private and secure. I am programmed to your voice and Diana Trevelyan’s voice. Ulrich Trevelyan had no hand or awareness of my creation.”

“Do you report to Diana Trevelyan?” Cullen waited, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Yes. She requested I inform her if you are in need. To monitor your happiness and sleep to ensure the success of the expedition.”

“Did she state anything else? Word for word, please Josephine.” Cullen rose and began pacing slowly back and forth. “Recorded interaction dated expedition day one. Playing video on screen.” Cullen looked up to see the video of him laying in pain on his bed. Diana entered his room while he groaned and tried to force the pain away. “May I?” Her voice was crystal clear as he watched her carefully pull his left leg from his pants and begin to work the muscle tissue and nerves. His arm went limp and he knew he’d passed out. She continued to work his leg for several more minutes, in silence before her voice broke through. “Josephine, monitor his pain levels. Any signs of distress signal me on the private channel. Immediately. I… He’s special. Code: D. T. Herald.” Carefully the image of Diana pulled the blankets up about him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before quietly locking the door behind her.

Stunned, Cullen didn’t know what to say or do. “Josephine…what is code: D. T. Herald?”

“I’m sorry Captain you do not have the ability to access such information.”

“Let me guess, only Diana Trevelyan can give me access.”

“Correct.”

“Can I implement my own code or lock sections of data away?” He had an idea, a way to play it both ways. “Yes. I am ready to create your code and except your orders.” Grinning ear to ear he nodded, “all conversations pertaining to Diana Trevelyan from my voice are to be sealed. Code: C.S.R Commander.”

“Done. Is that all? The hour is late, and Diana was concerned for your sleep.”

“That is all. Thank you.” Feeling a bit better he picked up his phone and read through the other messages. His sister was checking in to see how he was fairing. She knew about his rehab stint and despite his best efforts she was constantly sending him information on natural pain relief methods. Everything from yoga, meditation to looking into cannabis oils. Smiling at her efforts he gave her the replies he thought she’d want to hear. Reading through the email from Varric he breathed a sigh of relief. The camera crew had informed him of the find and they were more than over joyed at the discovery. There were talks of him and Diana being guests on the Shark After Dark show, and a small mention of a mechanical bull type idea using a shark figure. Yawning he finally felt sleep returning to him. Head set on talking with Diana he prepared himself for the day, tossing on a pair of long board shorts and a t-shirt he made his way to the kitchen.

“Captain!” Rylen smiled wide and wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. “Hope you caught up with this morning’s amazing news. We’ve got a large section of tagged sharks from last year here. I was thinking of heading down once we had a bite. Care to dive with me? I had the lads shackle your leg by the cage area.”

“Breakfast then let’s see some old friends.” Cullen grinned back following Rylen to the nearest table. Settling down to a hearty breakfast both men chatted loosely about the dive and how they wanted to handle things. It was far too risky to dive outside of the cage. Mako’s are known for their speed, being able to clear ten meters in under five seconds. For precaution sake they needed to stay in the cage. With their plans laid out, and breakfast tended to, they made their way towards the cage. “Wet suit...”

“Over here boss,” Iron Bull handed him the thicker blue digital camo wetsuit. “Show’s camera guy wants in. You good with it boss?”

“Kind of have no choice Bull, but thanks for asking. My, uh, leg please.” Cullen, he had already taken his shoes off and was beginning to undo the straps that held on his leg. His wetsuit was custom made, sew shut at the end of his stump so that his swimming leg could be pulled over and secured about his waist with a series of buckles and clips. Far better than his old leg, which he was confident was laying somewhere at the bottom of the ocean. It was a custom creation that Dagna had helped design once they returned to shore. Now finishing the last of the buckles, he used Rylen to hobble towards the cage. Leaning on the edge, Bull waved at him. “You going to wear your shirt in? Might be easier to get out the suit if you buff it.”

“Good idea. Thanks Bull.” His wetsuit was still sitting about his hips. Reaching down he tugged the shirt up over his head, “could you?”

“I’ll make sure it gets taken care of.” Blackwall leaned over, took the shirt and turned it back to right side out. “Leaving me behind?” Diana’s voice caught Cullen’s attention as he double checked his dive mask. “Sorry, figured you were going to be busy helping Dagna today. There’s enough room in the cage if you want to.” He kept his head down checking the security of the oxygen lines to his tanks. Confident he was good to go he stood up, catching her face. It was easy for him to forget how in shape he was. He tried to hide a smirk as her eyes roamed over his chest, and down to the defined set of abs peeking from the mess of bundled wetsuit. Before he could get a word in Rylen chimed in, “lass, we don’t have all day for you to lollygag at the Captain’s physic. Blackwall has one your size over there, if you’re wanting to get wet.”

“Oh, I, uh, yes!” Diana raced over to where Blackwall was standing, holding out a wetsuit in basic black. “If you were looking for something more colourful, the Captain beat you to it.”

Reaching his arms through the sleeves Cullen shook his head, “I’ve been bitten once, I’m not looking for a second chomp on my bits.” Snickering at his own terrible pun he grabbed the string at his side and slid it up, zipping himself into his suit. Tying down the strap he tucked his hair into the wetsuit’s hood. Rylen was already ready to get in, his mask securely in place and camera in hand. “Grab the tagging kit. We might get lucky.” Rylen’s voice clipped over the suit-built radio. Cullen nodded and reached for the small spear gun with a plastic pack of tags. Lifting his mask, he was just in time to see Rylen dip over the edge into the cage. “Impatient.” He grumbled as he turned to see Diana already in her wetsuit. Bull pat him on the shoulder, “all clear boss.”

Positioning himself at the edge of the cage, he held his mask tight to his face and dropped down. Even through the wetsuit the water was cold. Taking a sharp breath in, he sunk to the bottom of the cage before kicking his feet and getting a comfortable float. “Once Diana gets in, shut the top of the cage and lower us to the sea bed.” Cullen spoke as he set up the tagging gun. “Aye Captain.” Blackwall’s voice was crystal clear in his ear as he turned to Rylen. “Everything working?”

“Camera’s good. The film guy’s name is Cole. He’s quiet, doesn’t say much and knows his stuff. We’re to treat him like a ghost, just do our work and he’ll follow.” A short static clip broke his words followed by another radio clip. “I’m here, cage is a go.” Diana floated down next to Cullen, another tagging gun in her hands. “Let’s do this.” She smiled as the cage descended downwards. “We have an hour, let’s work some magic.”


	7. Patience is a Virtue

Cullen sighed at the hot water rolled off his back. Standing in the private shower in his quarters he was excited. The dive had been a success and they managed to tag a large number of Makos and a few larger nurse sharks and one great hammerhead. It was a good dive and he made a mental note to give the tag numbers and codes to the experts for those sharks. They’d be happy for the help. Scrubbing his body and washing his hair he felt more alive today. More aware of things. It was just a bit after lunch, but he was set on speaking to her. There was a lot to say.

Finishing his shower, he toweled off and wrapped it about his hips. “Josephine, anything I need to be aware of?” He was getting used to the system and was growing fond of it. “No new text messages, two new emails and no phone calls. One email is from a contact listed as Mia Rutherford, the subject is listed as Phantom Limb Pain and Mirror Therapy. The second email is from a contact listed as Dagna. The subject is listed as Copies of all Research -just in case-.” Smiling he thanked Josephine and went about preparing to head back onto the deck.

Dressed and dried he joined the crew in the mess for some lunch. Everyone was chatting away happily, their discovery meriting more research and everyone wanting to contribute their opinion. “We should follow Sera when she moves. It’s our closest link to finding the grounds.” Rylen stated between mouthfuls of lunch. “Come on Captain, you have to admit, staying here is only going to garner us tidbits of information. Maybe a dietary and mating summary at best.” Rylen began waving his fork towards him as he spoke. “I have to agree with Rylen,” Diana dabbed at her lips with her napkin. “It would be best to follow Sera, at a small distance. If she hovers over a place for a period of time, she may pup. There’s no guarantee we’ll make it in time if we don’t. Makos are fast.”

Cullen twisted his fork around, weighing the idea. “Dagna? I want your opinion too.”

“Staying nets me more tags, but it doesn’t answer the main question. Plus, I have a little treat I’ve been saving.” Grinning wide she leaned in close. “I have a camera tag. It’ll be a bit difficult to get on but if we can tag a female it’ll record for three days and pop off. Might be worth getting on one of the mating pairs. See what she prefers once she’s preggers.” Dusting her hands over her plate she shrugged, “but it’s your call Captain. I’m ready and willing when you are.”

Mulling it briefly Cullen agreed with the group. “Our only problem is going to be boredom. Chasing this girl is going to be a lot of technical work and very little physical work. Any way to keep this exciting? Maybe a dive here or there?” He was nervous about the film crew. It would be a boring project following a shark on it’s path to wherever. “I think we can meet up with the other crew out here looking into the great hammerheads. Do a dive or two with them, see about transferring our tag data to them. Might be a good idea.” Rylen threw the idea out as he reached for his drink. “Waters over here are pretty active.”

“When Sera makes her move, follow at distance. We’ll see where she takes us. Try to come up with some ideas to entertain the crew and keep everyone from going stir crazy. We’re only two days in. At this point we’re looking at a long time on open water. Morale will be an issue. Tomorrow we can set up the camera tag. Chum the top of the water, see if we can draw one close enough to the boat to get it. If not, we’ll have to reconfigure the tag and dive. Small window but it’s there.” Cullen sighed running his hand through his hair he let it rest at the base of his neck where he carefully massaged the tension building. Rising from his seat he felt his leg begin to bother him. “I’m going to go…”

“We know.” Dagna waved, “we’ll see you at dinner.”

Giving a faint nod, Cullen hobbled off towards his quarters. The cold water from the dive irritated his nerves and he was feeling the subtle throbbing beginning. It was making him tired and with the bulk of the work being dealt with, he was safe to rest a bit. Stripping down to his boxers he found the electric heat pack in his night stand. Setting it up, he wrapped it best her could about his and leg crawled into bed. As the warmth spread over him, he felt the tug to sleep pull hard. Closing his eyes, he slipped into a restful sleep.

Some point in his nap he started to suffer from cold sweats and pain. Grumbling he tried to get up, “wish there was a hot tub. I need…”

“There is a hot tub on the front of the main deck. It is hidden from plain view. Would you like me to show you?” Josephine’s voice broke the silence of his room and nearly made him jump. “That… That sounds good.” Cullen threw his leg over the edge of the bed and grabbed his leg. Strapping it back on he caught the display on the viewing glass. “Damn. When…”

“It was a last-minute addition, put in by your second in command, Rylen. It was approved by Diana Trevelyan approximately one week ago. Is there anything else you are in need of Captain?”

“No. Thank you.” Grabbing his walking cane, he wanted to take the pressure off his stump. Wrapping the cuff of the cane around his forearm he began the slower walk towards the hot tub. As he walked through heart of the ship he poked in to see Dagna busy checking on her tags. Smiling to himself he didn’t want to bother her, she always hated someone ‘interrupting her moment.’ Pushing through the last door towards the front deck he nearly ran face first into Diana. “Oh!”

“Looks like you found the hot tub feature,” she snickered as she looped her arm in his. “Come, let me take you there.” Tenderly she walked with him, slow and steady as he needed. Opening the door wide she smiled and releases his arm. “It’s all motorized, don’t be concerned.” Touching a hidden panel on the wall she pushed a few buttons and the floor slid away into itself before the hot tub raised just a few inches above deck. “I wanted it seated into the deck, easier for you to get in a out of.”

“You knew?”

“I did a bit of research. Knew you’d lost the leg from a shark attack. Did a ton of research on limb loss, pain management, phantom pain, and massage therapy. I… I wanted to be prepared.” Her cheeks where turning pinker by the moment as she reached for his hand to help him get into the water. Cullen wasn’t entirely sure what she meant by any of it. His mind was too busy trying to wrap his head around everything Diana. The more he tired to figure things out the more it didn’t make any sense to him.

As he sunk himself into the water it was perfect. Pulling and taking the aches from his body as he slipped down deeper. “This is larger than mine.” He rested his arms over the edges, as he closed his eyes. “Maker, I needed this. Bless your soul for this.”

“It’s the least I could do.” Diana sighed as she slipped into the water with him. “Is this hot enough? It can go higher.”

“No. This is perfect.” His hand naturally gravitated to his left leg, where he began rubbing softer circles into the thick thigh muscle. Pain was beginning to leave him, and he felt himself begin to relax. “Oy, holding out on us?” Rylen’s voice broke his concentration and he was forced to open his eyes. “I just found out about it. Thanks for the order Rylen.” Cullen gave him a warm smile as he caught the edge of Rylen’s shorts. “Joining us?”

“Thought you’d never ask. Blackwall and Bull are on their way, bringing some snacks and drinks. Couldn’t convince Dagna. She’s busy watching all the beeps and blinking shite.” Shrugging Rylen slipped over the edge and into the water. “Ah this is perfect after a dive. Better than shivering your bones in a hot towel.” Rylen splashed a hand full of water toward Diana, getting her in the face. “Keeping secrets from the Captain. That’s borderline mutiny.”

“I was on my way to tell him when he nearly bulled me over. Seems he’s quicker at finding things than I am at telling them.” Diana shrugged splashing him back. “Thank you for the idea. Never would have thought of it on my own.”

“You’re welcome,” Rylen tipped his head as he leaned back in the tub. “Feeling better Cullen?”

“Mhmm,” Cullen sighed as he slipped further down, only his head above the water. “Boss!” Bull came bounding over a bucket of ice with two bottles of booze inside. Several cups in his oversized hand. “I brought the drinks. Blackwall here has the sandwiches and chips.” Setting everything down beside the tub, Bull plopped down in the water, causing Cullen to have to quickly shift up to avoid drinking a ton of bromine water. Cracking one eye open he realized his quiet moment was about to be over run. Before he could complain Bull was passing him a drink. Taking it, he paused and took a slow sip, “thanks.”

As everyone got in the playful banter swung back towards business. Discussing dives, tagging more sharks and the decision to move with Sera. All while the cameras rolled. There were mixed feelings about that idea, but the general consensus was that it was for the best. After an hour of eating, drinking and discussion Cullen was feeling restless. He never liked sitting for long, it made him feel useless. Bracing his arms on the edge of the hot tub he hauled himself up. “I need to stretch my leg.” He sighed taking a towel that Dagna had dropped off. “I’ll be in my quarters if anyone needs me.” Wrapping the cuff back around his cane he tied the towel about his hips and began to hobble towards his room.

Taking his time, he leisurely strolled through the ship. It was quiet, the sound of the engines hummed, and there was some soft chatter about the camera crew, but it was quiet. Getting into his room he went straight to his shower. Bromine was gentler on the skin than chlorine, but it always bothered him either way. Tugging his swim shorts off he rinsed them out and wrung them before hanging them on a hook opposite of him in the shower. Scrubbing up his mind was trying to play through the last few days. Trying to think of a way to broch everything with Diana. The video, her reactions and choices. All of it was different to him. Drying off he went through his messages. Dealing with those he needed to burn off some energy. Puling on a pair of boxers and loose shorts he went about his usual routine of exercise. Push up, sit ups, and using whatever he could find to make up for the lack of weights. Diving weights when strapped to a belt were very handy at mimicking dumbbells.

Feeling more revitalized he poured himself a glass of ice water, “Josephine, where is Diana Trevelyan?”

“She is currently located at the rear of the ship on the observation deck. She is alone.”

“Thank you, alert me if Sera moves.” Cullen pulled a t-shirt over his head and combed his hair back. Strapping his leg back on he was ready. It was more than time to go speak to her, to get everything sorted out. Taking a short cut through the ship, he wanted to avoid everyone. He was a on a mission to speak with her and he didn’t want to be interrupted. Arriving at the rear of the ship, he could see her, half pacing back and forth with something in her hand. Curious he took a couple steps closer, that’s when he caught the conversation.

“No. He’s… This isn’t what I wanted! You can’t bully me into doing what you want. I’m an adult and I can make my own choices! He’s special… No! I… put mom on the phone. I want mom!” She had tears in her eyes and they were beginning to fall down her cheeks. Cullen dipped back, confused by what he heard but unable to leave her. “Mom? Ya, he’s being himself again. No, this expedition isn’t mine. I’m here to help, and we’re making a difference. Isn’t that enough? I mean the whole thing is a huge tax write-off for him. Yes, all the extra handicap items were straight off charity.” She was eased back, leaning over the railing as she spoke and Cullen’s heart broke. He didn’t want to hear anymore, couldn’t bare it.

Pushing through the door, he half ran to the research deck. “Hey Captain!” Dagna smiled quickly before turning her head back to her work. “Just the man I need. You’re the expert in radar tech, mind taking a look at this?” Waving him over he was more than glad for the distraction. He needed it. Pouring his energy into it he was busy straight up to dinner, when the intercom buzzed to life to let everyone know it was being served. “Go get something to eat, I’ll finish up this tag. I want to run a few more tests on it.” Cullen patted Dagna on the shoulder as he reached for the soldering gun.

“Boss man, you need to eat too. Want me to bring you back something?” Dagna could see he was in a mood. But she was also wise enough not to push him. “Or I can send a tray to your room. Might be better for you.” Cullen shrugged, “not hungry. I’ll get something later.” His eyes never left the tag components as he fused a set of wires together. He could hear Dagna softly walk away, leaving him to his thoughts.

He worked until his eyes stared to burn, the smoke from the circuit fusing was giving him a headache. Finally, in frustration he put the tools away, trying his best not to break anything. His leg felt weak, as he returned to his quarters. Walking inside he saw the tray of food left for him. Walking over he grabbed a tumbler, filled it with ice and topped it with honey bourbon. Half flopping into his chair he stared at the food. His stomach grumbled softly, and he had to admit he was hungry. Even though he didn’t feel like eating. Picking through the meal slowly, his mind wandered, hovering over her words. “Nothing but a tax write-off.” He grumbled as he tugged his shirt over his head. There was nowhere he could go on the ship that was truly private outside of his quarters and even within the walls he felt too crowded. Too tight. Feeling the drink getting to his head, he wanted air. Opening the doorway to his private balcony he leaned on the rail.

Night had fallen as the boat gently swayed with the tides and breeze. Above him thousands of stars dotted the sky as they glittered and shone. Closing his eyes, he drew in a deep breath, able to taste the salt upon the air as it tickled his nose. This was where he belonged. On the open ocean, deep in research and trying new ideas. Feeling his head clear he made up his mind. There was work to be done, and that work needed his full attention. It was time he did just that.

The next week was a blur as he buckled down to getting tags sorted out and trying to rig up a way to get out of the cage. Dagna and him worked side by side coming up with several different concepts. “It needs to be lighter,” Cullen groaned running his hand through his damp hair. “We need to be able to move yet be protected from the bite power. I think we need to run a few tests.” Between the two of them, they’d tried to wire up some gloves made from knife protection kitchen gloves. Preliminary tests were good but with no recorded bite force, they needed more data. Which to Cullen meant diving. “I’ll test it. We’re near a small school of mako. Maybe I can get lucky and hit one with the new camera tag we made.”

“Cullen, that’s insane! You’ll only have an hour of dive time. We can’t guarantee…”

“I’ll be fine Dagna. Their bite is nasty but not limb rendering. Worst case, I get a new scar. We’ve got a medic, best to have him do something more than treat hangovers.” Grabbing the gloves and the tag he started off towards the rear of the ship, Dagna protesting all the way.


	8. Self-Righteous Suicide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** TITLE is a song lyric, nothing more. Enjoy***

Cullen couldn’t utter anything, his eyes wide as Diana stormed away from him. Touching his face, he could feel the stinging swell of heat. He was stunned until his mind began to speed up. What was that? Numbly he paced the hall towards the hot tub. No matter which way he cut it he needed to heat his body back up. 

Pushing through the back doors he caught sight of the young camera man, Cole lowering himself into he water. He grinned as he eased back against the edge. Cullen gave a faint nod as he tugged his leg off and slipped into the water. Floating there, his mind began to wander. The bourbon was fueling his confusion and it drowned out the pain. Sinking down to his neck he barely registered Cole there at all. 

“Captain. Are you alright?” Cole’s voice was light as he carefully got closer to Cullen. “How are your fingers?”

“Fine. Little sore but fine.” Rising back up he couldn’t shake the feeling he’d miss something. “Uh, how’d the… uh, recording …”

“Everything ran smooth. Minus your accident.” Cole’s eyes scanned him over and Cullen suddenly became aware of how pale the young man was. His eyes were the faintest of blues and his shaggy bleach blonde hair covered part of his ashen face. There was something about him, something strange that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “She means well you know.” 

“She? Pardon?” Cullen sat up a bit straighter, minding the cast from the waters edge. “I’m the camera guy. No one pays me much attention, so I hear and see a lot. You’re acting differently around Lady Trevelyan. She was upset earlier. I could hear her crying in her bunk.” Cole hung each word softly as he spoke. When Cullen didn’t utter a word back Cole continued. “You seemed happier when she was happy. Now you are both sad. It’s just sad now.”

“She… Rylen is a better suit to her kind.” Cullen hung his head down, staring as the water bubbled and rippled. “He’s more like her.” Rising up he reached for the towel hanging nearby. “I… I need to…”

“You’re no better or worse than him. She knows this. She cares regardless.” Cole’s words stung him deep. Cutting a path of pain in his heart. “Rylen makes her laugh, but the smile isn’t real. With you, her eyes shine.” Cullen felt it twist like a blade in his chest as Cole finished. With shaking hands, he needed to move, “I have to go.” He snatched the towel so quickly nothing registered as he dripped towards his quarters. 

When he got inside he half flew to the bottle of bourbon. His hand shook as he poured a quarter of a glass and knocked it back. It was too much, he needed to drown the pain, erase it. Downing drink after drink he wanted to drown it all out. Josephine’s soft voice drew his attention to the viewing glass, “in coming call from Ulrich Trevelyan, Captain. Did you wish to put it through to screen?”

In his haze he felt the anger boil up inside of him. This was all Ulrich’s fault. “Ya, put that bastard on the screen.” Standing in front of his desk he smoothed his hair down, folded his arms over his chest and tried to seem all the more in command than he felt. As Ulrich’s face lit up the screen he coolly answered, “to do what I own the honor?”

“Captain, so glad you could take my call. It seems we don’t have an understanding between us. I thought it best to call and make my point absolutely clear. If you don’t…”

“You can run to whatever media source you want and tell them whatever you want. My name will be tied with yours. You’ve funded this ship, signed all the papers and now you want to be in charge. You are nothing but a bully. Forcing your daughter to do what she doesn’t want to. Demanding I cater to your whim,” he stood firm despite the swagger in his hips. “I won’t do it. This is my passion, my project and I’ll run it how my team sees fit. If you don’t like it, deal with it. Leave Diana alone.”

“I can speak for myself, thank you.” Diana came into the frame standing beside Cullen. “You won’t bully him into what you want. I’ve looked at the contract. You left yourself powerless. I suppose this is what happens when you don’t give a damn what it takes to make your daughter disappear. Cullen has rights over everything. The ship, the funds set up in the special account for this project and all proceeds from Shark Week. You lose, father. And as of this moment, you’ve lost a daughter too. Take that as you wish. Josephine, end call and lose this number.” Diana exhaled loudly as the screen flickered, Ulrich’s protests lost to the void. “Thank you.” Finally, her voice cracked the awkward silence. “I’ll… I should go.” 

He didn’t know what possessed him to do it. Maybe it was the drink, maybe it was her taking control of her life, and defending his. Either way his body moved without his mind. Grabbing her arm, he spun her back around, pressing her against his chest he paused for a half second. Seeing her pupils dilate and feeling the goosebumps dance across her arm. Maybe it was enough for him, maybe he didn’t care. Either way it happened. He’d released her arm and in a blur of motion slid it behind her head and pulled her in for a searing kiss. His heart was pounding in his ears, as he slanted his lips over her, feeling her hand sit upon his hips. It was blessed heat, burning into his skin, marking him. 

Then it was over. Diana pulled back, her eyes darting over his face, “I can’t.” Her hands quickly left his side, icy cold replacing the heat as she turned and rushed from his room. Resting his hand on the desk he was stunned. What happened? How did it happen? His head was spinning, and nothing was registering fully. He’d just flipped off the guy funding their project, messed his hand up in some vain attempt at self-righteous suicide and now he’d just kissed Diana. “I… I’m a wreck.” His words were slurred as he staggered towards his shower. He pressed his back against the wall as he worked at his leg, taking it off to discard upon the floor. Stripping he sat in the shower and turned on the hot water. Letting it all rush over him, he kept his head down. Feeling it trail over his eyes as he closed them, tickling his lips as his mind raced back to the kiss. She had kissed back, or had that been his imagination? 

With each bit of water, the drink left him, leaving only the main question in his head; what did I do, and what should I do. Things he didn’t have the answers for. Finally getting out and drying off he picked up his phone. “Hey, do you have some time for me?”

“Oh course, Cullen. How can I help?” Leliana’s voice was honey sweet and warm. Just what he needed right then, a voice of reason and calm. “I… I have a lot to talk about and I… I’ve made mistakes.”

“You have my undivided attention.” 

It poured out, in waves until he felt his eyelid grow heavy. No one had come to bother him, and the sun was beginning to sink lower into the night sky by the time he’d finished his talk with Leliana. She’d told him not what he wanted to hear, but what he so desperately needed to hear. He wasn’t a broken man. As much as he felt inferior to Rylen he was every bit as able as him. Letting it all sink in he tugged a hoodie on before making his way to the kitchen. Dinner had already been served and his stomach was growling at him. Rummaging through the fridge he put a meager meal together, he quietly ate in the solitude of the kitchen. Washing his few dishes he wasn’t sure what to do next. 

“Cullen,” Rylen’s voice broke the silence and he was glad for it. “I was just going to look for you. I have news.” Leaning against the counter, Rylen crossed his arms. “Sera’s on the move. We’ve begun following her at a safe distance. She’s steering us straight into hammerhead territory. Right towards another research vessel. I’ve already contacted them, turns out they’re working with Shark Week too and they want to do a joint dive. We’ll be close to them in a day. Then we’ll do a meet and greet, camera thing and setup to measure and tag some hammerheads. Dagna believes Sera is hanging out near them for some cover.” 

“Sounds good.” Cullen was relieved to hear there was some movement on the project, but he knew he had to inform Rylen about Ulrich. “I need to talk to you about Ulrich Trevelyan…”

“No need. Diana told me everything. Said you stuck up for her and basically told her dear pa to shove it up his arse. Didn’t think you had it in you.” Rylen gave his arm a weak punch. “From what I’ve heard that man is a menace. Don’t go worrying about funding. Diana said she squirrelled away a few million into the fund before Ulrich could do anything. If we invest smart we’re set for the next four, five years mate. Girl has your back.”

“Oh, wow.” Cullen was speechless. What else had she said to Rylen? “How’s… how’s she doing? I was rather um… drunk when I… uh.”

Rylen let out a belly laugh, “of course you were! The sober Cullen wouldn’t have let that bastard have it.” Patting him again Rylen sighed, “she’s into you mate. You know, that right?” Cullen nearly choked on the air, “what? No. I’ve seen how you two are together. She… she’s not…”

“Cullen.” Rylen shook his head as he pushed off the counter. “Trust me mate. It ain’t like that with me and her. But, it’s late. Got a big day tomorrow. Need my beauty sleep. I’ll see you for breakfast on the deck.” Rylen calmly strolled out the door, leaving Cullen worse for the wear. If his head wasn’t spinning before it was on full wash cycle. Clearing away his dishes he staggered off towards his quarters, eager for the privacy of his balcony and the ocean air upon his face. 

Once on his balcony he let his mind wander over everything. Going back to his first meeting with Diana, how she smiled when she met him. How her eyes seemed to dance when he spoke. Going through the phone call he’d half overheard. To her appearance when he had it out with Ulrich. He could see her in his mind, see how her eyes were rimmed red. ‘She was crying’, Cole had said as much in the hot tub. Could she be interested in him? It was that thought that scared him the most. His fingers trailed down to the edge of the prosthetic. Sure, science had come a long way in providing for those with missing limbs, but he wasn’t whole. He’d never be able to give her the life she deserved. They were never going to run along a sandy beach, hand in hand. It was far too risky that his leg may stick in the wet sand and he would come tumbling down.

“Ugh!” He grunted as he thrust himself up from the edge. “Leave me!” He gripped his head in his hands, willing the images of them together to go. It wasn’t what she deserved, he wasn’t a burden she deserved. Feeling the chill slip through him he shivered. It was late, and sleep was preferred to this waking torture. He had worked to do come morning and still a little over three weeks left. More than enough time to get his head around all of this. Maybe. Washing up he knelt by his bed and for the first time in a long time, he prayed.


	9. Through the Glass

His dreams betrayed him. Her naked body pressed against his, writhing as he brought her world shattering about her, his name pressed into his heart by her lips. It left him frustrated and empty waking to a cold, lonely bed. “Maker take you.” He grumbled as he threw his leg over the edge. Sleeping alone hadn’t bothered him. Ever. Not that he hadn’t had his fair share of bedmates, he just wasn’t one to grow attached to them. Now, Diana was everywhere. He pressed his lips together, almost able to still feel the lush softness of hers against them. Punching the bed with his good hand he wanted to cry, to scream, to get it out. It was clawing inside of him, burning him alive. 

Grabbing his cane, he went straight to his shower. Wrapping his cast hand in a plastic bag he turned on the cold water. Stepping in quickly it shocked his senses. Adjusting the water back to hot, he drew in a deep breath, “Josephine, how far from Sera are we? Chart the hammerhead research boat as well.”

“Sera’s current path is less than half a day’s journey from us. She has stopped and judging by her patterns is hunting. The hammerhead boat is a quarter day from her. We will reach the research boat by late evening today.” 

“Of course. Rylen.” Cullen chuckled as he stepped out and dried off. “Where is Rylen now?” 

“Heading towards the kitchen.”

Dressing quickly, he half rushed towards him. Coming around the corner he caught sight of Rylen. “Morning.” He grinned reaching for his coffee cup. “Looks like we’re on target. Anything useful from the camera tag?”

“Tons. Dagna’s been bouncing off the walls going over all of it. Said our new friend Duncan is a swordfish lover too. You speak with Diana yet?” Rylen had leaned in close, being sure to keep his voice low. “No, I haven’t.” Cullen’s eyes stayed set on his coffee cup as he began filling it. “We should focus on…”

“You daft bat.” Rylen groaned. “Talk with the lass. Please.” Seeing the shift in Cullen’s face Rylen pushed. “Mate, I can’t begin to say I understand what goes on in that head of yours, but I can say that if you let this one get away, you are making the biggest mistake of your life.”

“I… I’ll speak to her. When I get the chance.” He couldn’t look at Rylen, not with everything he knew. Letting him walk away he decided it was best to check on Dagna and to let her know he was alright. Carefully he poked his head in on her. Seeing her working on soldering something together he waited for her to put the hot implement down before uttering a word. “Dagna…”

“Maker! I was just thinking of you, come here!” Dagna was waving him to a work bench covered in sculpting tools. “I was thinking. Even with that hand you can dive. Damn what the doc says! Just gotta find a way around it.” Pointing towards his cast hand she waited for him to pass it towards the workspace. “Hmm, yes! I was right. One moment.” Grabbing a measuring caliper, she began taking precise measurements, writing each one down. “I was thinking of casting it, but when I talked to Dr. Solas he said it would ruin the plaster. I’ll have to work something out by hand. Oh! I need to measure your wrist! Hold still one more moment.”

“Dagna, what do you think of Diana?” Cullen held as still as he could, watching as the stout woman worked at light speed, checking and double checking before nodding to herself and scribbling on her paper. “I like her. Knows her stuff, good with tools, excellent second set of eyes. Can we keep her?” 

“That’s not really up to me, but I wouldn’t be against it.” Cullen couldn’t help the goofy grin that was spreading across his lips and he was thankful Dagna was focused on her work. Clearing his throat, he looked down at her work. “Am I free to go?”

“Oh! Yes! The camera crew want to do a sit-down interview with you, out on the back deck. By the cage. Sooner you can get there the sooner you can get that over with.” Waving him off she clicked her tongue, “go on. I have work to do. Tests and more tests. Need paper for tests.”

“Alright, alright.” Cullen chuckled as he reached the high shelf and pulled out some more loose papers for her. “A present before I leave. Let me know when you have something.” Leaving her to continue her work, he wanted to get the interview over with. With his head held high he paced towards the cage at the back. Stepping onto the deck he was immediately bombarded by a small makeup crew, “what…”

“It’s for tv. Just go with it.” One of the crew members blurted out. Resigned to his fate he waited. Finally, the camera crew member explained what they wanted. “We need you to discuss what you’ve found so far. What you plan to do next. And, just some random information about that last dive. Can we get a close up of your hand? Don’t worry, I’ll keep you in check and I’ve got some solid questions. We’ll piece it all together in the editing room, so don’t over think it.”

Nodding Cullen sat in the chair they offered him, and they began. It wasn’t nearly short enough for him. Their interview dragged on well into lunch. Finally, the head of the crew nodded, “that’s excellent stuff! I’ll need to interview your other crew members. Dagna, Rylen and Diana before we put this together, but we have a lot of great material to work from. Thanks!”

“Recruit Rylen first, I’m sure he’d love a nice, long, chat.” Cullen gave a weak smile as he stood to stretch his legs. “That’s not very kind of you. I’ll take this round.” Diana came strolling over, calm and serene. “But…”

“We can speak later, in private.” Diana patted his arm as she took his seat and turned her attention towards the film crew. “Later… in private.” He repeated the words softly to himself as he took a couple steps back. ‘In private,’ rung through his head as he went about the planning and work that needed to be done. 

His day dragged on as Rylen needed him with something small, Blackwall asked about modifying a catch release on the cage, and Dagna created a silicon glove to cover his cast. At some point he returned to his room, the day light had begun to fade in the background. Sitting at his desk he looked over the email from Varric Tethras. Ulrich had tried to pull his funding, tried to back out of everything, but with his daughter aboard and her work with the contract, he was trapped. Cullen couldn’t help the smirk upon his lips as he read it over a couple more times. The only thing that upset him was the attempt. Ulrich had tried to level accusations that Cullen was a drug addict and using the money from the venture to fund his habit. Varric, for his part did a bit of research himself. ‘There are no concrete facts that Cullen. S. Rutherford attended any rehabilitation center or has ever had a medical crisis due to substance abuse.’ The line had read. Very clinical, and very cold. 

Flicking it off, he felt the lingering stiffness in his legs and back. It was late, dinner served, and he’d taken his meal over his emails. Now done he was thinking about a late-night soak before crawling into bed. Leaving his prosthetic by his bed and changing into his swim shorts he was ready. Wrapping the forearm cuff on he quietly made his way down to the hot tub. Passing Dagna’s workroom, he could see her still working away a tune playfully whistling over her lips. Rylen was passed out in his bunk, the curtains left wide and an alarm clock close to his head. Chuckling to himself he continued through to the hot tub, the deck empty and quiet. 

Sinking into the water he closed his eyes. Today was a lot to process. A lot of information and not enough time to sit and ponder it all out. He went through every moment he’d spent with Diana. From their meeting at the expensive restaurant to how she’d taken him for drinks. How she smiled and swayed in his arms. Maybe Rylen was right, maybe there was something more to her. But, was he worthy of it? Dunking his head under the water, he let the heat burn his face before he came back up. It wasn’t his choice. No matter which way he fought himself, the choice was hers. Letting the water trail down his face he felt tired. Twisting his body up and out of the water he toweled off slightly before wrapping it about his waist and heading towards his quarters. It was a lot to think about. Plus, there was that fear in the back of his mind. What if he was just some kink she was looking to fill. He’d seen too much and been offered it as well. It had taken him a long time to wrap his head around the idea that someone wanted to sleep with him just because he lost his leg.

Grumbling under his breath as he tried to sort those thoughts back into the darkest recesses of his mind, he arrived at his quarters un-interrupted. Stripping down, he quickly showered off the hot tub water before drying off again and tugging on a pair of boxers. Sleep edged at the corner of his eyes and he could do little to ward it off. “Josephine, alert me if I am needed. I’m going to get some rest.”

“Yes, Captain.” 

Slipping into a restful sleep he was jolted from it when Josephine’s voice issued an alert. “Captain, we have reached the research vessel tagged as ‘The Guardsman.’ Rylen is requesting your presence immediately at the aft of the ship.” 

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he acknowledged her. Strapping his leg on he swiped a pair of plain shorts and one of his polo shirts. Getting into the bathroom, he washed up quick, brushing his hair back with a bit of product before rushing towards the rear of the boat. Smoothing his collar down he caught sight of the ship. It was comparable in size, an old rich man’s yacht converted into a research vessel. Standing beside Rylen he smoothed out the edge of his shorts, “they’re early.”

“Of course, they are. Did you hear who’s aboard?” Rylen wore a grin fit for an imp as he clapped Cullen on the back. “This trip is about to get a whole lot more interesting.”

Unsure what to make of that he caught sight of Diana racing to the edge of the boat, waving her arms out. Across from them someone on the other boat frantically waved back. “Here we go.” Rylen snorted as the boats carefully came closer. Rylen took the rope tossed over and handed it to Bull, “easy does it. We need to touch, not bash about.” 

“Gentle. I can do gentle.” Bull huffed as he carefully maneuvered the boats together. Diana ran along and tossed the thick rubber cushions over the edge to help ease the joining. As the boats came together, Diana half threw herself over to the other boat. “Cousin?”

“I never thought I’d catch you on the water. How is your motion sickness?” Diana smiled wrapping her arms around the tall, dark stranger. 

“Who’s…” Cullen barely got the words out when the stranger waved towards him. “Ah Captain Rutherford, I’m so pleased we could meet in person. Your work inspired me to get onboard and see this for myself. You’ll forgive me for not doing it with you and your crew. It seems you already had a backer.” Holding Diana by her shoulders he clicked his tongue. “Cousin, you go behind my back. How rude.”

Diana blushed brightly as she turned to face Cullen, “everyone this is my cousin, the eccentric, Dorian Pavus.” 

“Dorian… THE Dorian?” Cullen gasped. It was a light bulb moment. Diana’s sudden interest, the funding, everything clicked together. “Diana’s cousin?”

“Yes, and she has stolen you out from under me.” Dorian was all smiles as he hugged his cousin again. “We must chat and share the good wine.” Winking at her he straightened. “Ah but I forget myself. I’d like to introduce you to the husband and wife team of, The Guardsman, Aveline and Donnick.”

“Pleasure,” a broad shouldered red head stepped out from behind Dorian. “Captain Rutherford, my first tells me you have a tag on a great. We’d love to run her numbers as soon as you can.

“Of course, our data is yours. We should take advantage of the daylight first. This area is a hot bed for hammers and mako. We’re tracking one right now who is down below us. Perhaps a joint dive and dinner? We can discuss further plans then.” Cullen was polite and even keeled as his eyes scanned the crew. All smiling and happy to meet them. “Great idea Captain. Let’s get our rigging set up and let these tv people prepare. Have your cage in the water next to ours. This should be good.” 

Everything was a bustle of movement as Rylen prepared to dive with Dagna, Bull and Blackwall set out lines and secured the cage. Cullen was stuck topside, managing his crew as Diana happily tittered away with Dorian. Finally, after a rush of bodies and tech, loud splashes broke the air. “Radio check, Rylen, Dagna do you read?” Cullen’s eyes were on the scanner, checking the area as his people descended into the blue. “Crystal clear Captain. Water is bloody clear down here, like looking through glass!”

“What Rylen said. It’s amazing the clarity!” Dagna chirped in. “Our diving friends are in the water. We should be good to go.” 

“Stay safe. I’m patching us into their line. Three, two, one.” Cullen clicked it over and instantly Aveline came on the radio, “all clear. We have several big hits on the radar. Should be some greats circling on your position shortly. Keep your heads in it.” 

Cullen sat back in the chair, listening as Aveline and her team of divers got to work, Rylen and Dagna doing their best to keep up and aid where they could. After an hour the teams came up. “Good job everyone. Clean up and we’ll see what we have. Thank you, Captain Rutherford. We’ll see you for dinner. We’ll bring the drinks, and dessert.”

“Bring your swim wear, we have a treat in store.” Diana smiled as she looped arm with her cousin. “Bring the good wine, dearest cousin.”

“For you my darling, always.” Dorian smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the chapter titles are the song that sticks in my head best when I write it. I hope that makes sense lol just something I'm trying.


	10. Unbound (the Wild Ride)

Cullen was tugged from one place to the next for the rest of the afternoon, as everyone was busy making preparations for the other crew. His hopes of speaking with Diana at all were blown out the window when Dorian showed up. Since then, she’d been by his side idly chatting and filling him in on the situation with her father. Cullen caught the odd snippet as he worked around them.

Dagna hopped and skipped about going on and on about the tags the other crew had created. She’d managed to talk their tech expert into letting her see one. By see, Dagna meant dissect and replicate. Racing over towards her workshop she disappeared, Cullen’s words didn’t seem to reach her. Grumbling he wanted the entire crew present for dinner, but Dagna was off in her own world. 

Just as dinner neared he felt someone touch the small of his back. Half jolted from his thoughts he barely managed to hold back the squeal in his throat. “Relax,” her velvet like voice soothed him instantly. “Diana, I was hoping to speak with you. Can we…”

“I’d love to, but our guests have arrived, and it would be in poor taste for the Captain and the heiress to disappear.” She giggled softly as her hand trailed lower, cupping Cullen’s rear. “But, I do wish to see you later.”

Unsure what to say he caught the deep scarlet of her cheeks, “Diana, you’ve been drinking.” Her hand squeezed his bottom and he had to clear his throat to keep focused, “the guests…”

“Sit beside me, please.” Diana dragged her hand over his arm, trailing down to his fingers tips, “please.” Electricity danced across his skin as his mouth ran dry, “alright.” Following her to the table he took his usual spot as people began to enter the eating area. Rylen sat on the other side and Dorian sat beside Diana. As the food and drink were passed around, friendly banter filled the air. Aveline was passionate and strong in her purpose to preserve and help maintain the great hammerhead shark population, something she met in Dagna. Even though the dwarven woman was more excitable than Aveline, their passion burned the same. Cullen enjoyed watching people chat and eat happily, all against the backdrop of the setting sun. Diana was busy laughing away as she spoke with Dorian who was on his second bottle of wine and attempting to garner the attention of Bull. Who was more then happy to occupy him.

Across the tables sat the two film crews, talking and eating while cameras lazily rolled. Cole smiled and waved to Cullen before he returned his focus to his meal and the small glass of amber fluid. Rylen was chatting up some young looking blonde woman, Cullen had missed her first name, only hearing Hawke before he returned his focus to his plate. Picking his drink up he felt Diana shift next to him. He barely pressed the glass against his lips when he felt her finger tips grace the edge of his prosthetic. Trying to remain calm he downed a small mouthful before placing it back on the table. It seemed no one around him was the wiser as they all carried on. Schooling his features, he felt his mouth turn cotton as her finger tips slowly walked up his thigh. “Cullen…” she leaned in tight, resting the weight of her body against him. “Can we…. Can we talk?”

“You’ve had quite a bit to drink,” Cullen tried to keep his voice level as her fingers toyed with the inside of his thigh. “You should have some water.” 

“Oh! The hot tub,” she squealed as she tried to sit up, before falling back into him. “No hot tub for you.” Cullen chuckled as he set her back in her seat. Clapping his hands loudly he gathered everyone’s attention. “Our surprise this evening is the large built in hot tub Diana had custom made for this ship. Rylen will be more than happy to escort those interested to it. I will be turning in for the evening. Thank you all for coming and I look forward to the next couple days.” 

‘Hot tub’ barely came out of his mouth before the horde of people began to disperse. Some heading back to their ship and others following Rylen. Cullen pushed his chair out and was about to begin the walk back to his quarters when Diana looped her arm in his. “You young lady, are drunk.”

“I may be, but I am no young lady.” She snickered as she half dragged him towards his room. She hummed a playful tune upon her lips as she went. Crossing the threshold, she released his arm to shut the door. “You have been a very naughty Captain.” She slapped her hands on her hips as she walked him backwards. “Very, very naughty.” 

“Diana.” Cullen began to protest when his calf hit the edge of the bed. Turning to check over his shoulder he missed her move. She pressed her hand into his chest before knocking him backwards. He could feel the prosthetic disconnect and slip from his leg. Instinct was to reach for it, to try to tug it back on but before he could she was straddling his hips. “Diana, you’re drunk. This… this isn’t right.” 

“Shh…” she laid her finger across his lips as she fell forward. “No talk, no brain stuff, no games. I… I want you Cullen. I… I need you.” Her breath was rapid, and Cullen could see her usual emerald eyes were dark, pools of pure lust. He hadn’t drunk that much at dinner, but he was finding it hard to keep himself under control. Diana was intoxicated, more so than he felt comfortable with. Trying to sit up, she pressed her chest against his, “Di…” His words were cut off as her hands drove through his hair, her lips bruisingly hard against his snuffed out anything he might have wanted to say. 

She tasted of summer sweetened fruit with an edge of bitterness. He could easily lose himself in her, lose himself to the swell that was building. Her tongue danced off his as her hands slid under his shirt. He had to regain focus, control. When her lips moved to his jaw and over to his neck he swallowed hard. “Diana stop. You’re too drunk. I want this, but not like this. It can’t be like this.” Catching her cheek in his palm he carefully slid her up towards the pillows, “please. Trust me.”

“I… I do trust you…” she was near breathless as she eased back into the pillow. Cullen carefully retrieved his leg and went over to his desk. Collecting a glass of ice water, he sat beside her, “here. This will make the morning less, intense.” Helping her to sit up, she drank down the glass slowly. “You can stay, if you want.” Cullen had no idea where those words came from, or how he managed to get them out but there they were. Diana’s smile softened the blow he thought was coming, “thank you.” He never realized how beautiful she was under all that makeup. She’d neglected to wear it today, but her skin was flawless expect for the soft circles about her eyes and hint of freckles about her nose. ‘She was crying,’ Cole’s words still dug at him. 

Taking her glass, he put it away and grabbed an old t-shirt, “I don’t have much in your size, but I think this will work out.” Placing it in front of her he turned his back. Taking his own shirt and shorts off he went to the bathroom to clean up. When he came back he couldn’t help the smile upon his lips. She’d curled up under the blankets, in his shirt and fallen fast asleep. Turning out the lights he got in the other side of the bed. “Good night, Lady Trevelyan.” He sighed as he closed his eyes.

It wasn’t his alarm, or the sunlight coming in through the window that woke him. Weight woke him. Cracking an eye open he was vaguely aware of someone, or something pressing upon his chest. It took a moment for his brain to scan back and remember what had happened last night. He’d thought it all a dream, but there she was, her scarlet coils tumbled about in a mass as she slept soundly with her head upon his chest. He couldn’t help the grin that was slowly spreading across his lips. Even though last night had been interesting and incredibly difficult to resist, he was happy he did. She said she wanted him, needed him and that thought refused to leave the front of his brain. ‘She was drunk, don’t get your hopes up cripple.’ His inner malevolent voice snarled at him, threatening to crush his dreams. ‘Let her rest. Drunk people are honest people. She cares, you’ll see.’ The hopeful voice sang out as he tried to relax and just enjoy the moment. 

“G’morning.” Diana mumbled as she lazily struggled to move her hair away from her face. “Not too loudly, I fear my head my pop off.”

“You did have quite a bit to drink.” Cullen spoke as softly as he could, watching her as she managed to free herself before she plopped back down upon his chest, her big emerald eyes staring into his. “Did you sleep well?”

“The bed is top notch, but the company is better.” Diana leveled him a smile that threatened to engulf his being. “So, Captain. What happened? I don’t remember much past the discussion of a hot tub.” 

Cullen’s heart sank. “Uh, well. You walked me back to my room, and uh…” sighing heavily he knew she needed to hear the truth. “You wanted to, do things and I said you were too drunk to make those decisions. I offered to…”

“You took care of me?” Diana’s voice cracked as her eyes gleamed. “I… I’m sorry to have inconvenienced you.” Slowly she went to sit up, but Cullen reached out, tenderly taking her hand. “No. Don’t. Let me get some of your things. Have a shower and clean up. Please.” Waving her towards the bathroom he turned his back, so she could move without him seeing anything. “Use my towel, it’s just outside the door. I’ll be back with your items.” He waited to hear the water start before he quickly rushed from the room.

Avoiding as many people as he could he was glad most were still quietly recovering in their bunks. Pulling the purple curtains back he was stunned to find only a large piece of luggage set neatly on her bed. Grabbing it, he tugged the drapes back into place before sneaking back to his room. He was mildly shocked he didn’t run into anyone as he gingerly pulled open his bedroom door. Faintly the sound of water filled his senses. Smirking to himself it was then he caught the soft scent of coconut oil sweet and bright. He didn’t use anything that smelled like that. Placing the bag down beside his bed, he neatly fluffed the pillows and pulled the blanket back up. 

Nervously he didn’t know what to do. Should he leave, should he stay? “Diana, your bag is on the bed.”

“Don’t leave, please.”

He froze. Her voice was so soft, barely registering above the constant patter of water from the shower. “I… I won’t leave.” He half flopped down at his desk, trying to gather his mind. Pouring himself a glass of water he opened his laptop and began going through his normal routine of checking messages. With his head down and focused deep into his work, he didn’t catch the sound of the water shutting off, or her tentative peek from the edge of the bathroom.

“Am I interrupting something?” Diana smiled as she finished tugging on her pants, standing in her bra and panties. Cullen swallowed hard, trying not to think about all the things he could be doing. “Just some emails and messages. Paperwork waits for no one in this day and age.” He tried to focus on the words in his reply but instead his eyes wandered up to watch her. Jabbing the heels of his palms into his eyes he grumbled under his breath. “Are you alright?” Diana purred as she came around behind him, beginning to rub at his sore shoulders and the tight muscle at the base of his neck. Letting out a soft whimper he hung his head forward, allowing her to work unimpeded. 

“Thank you, Cullen.” She sighed as he pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. “You have been incredibly kind. I… I appreciate it.” 

“I couldn’t do that to you. I… I’m thankful you aren’t angry.” Cullen rolled his neck hearing a loud pop, he groaned. “Despite what you may think, I have morals.” That earned him a giggle as she splayed her hands over his broad shoulders. “About last night…”

“I’m aware. My memory came back after a hot shower. So, you want it to?” He could feel her hot breath against his ear as her lips grazed his neck. His world began to spin, and it was taking every bit of resistance he had not to turn around and do something. “Diana, we… we should talk about things. I… I don’t want this to be something, awkward or… fetish like.” The fear clung tightly in his chest. What if it was just a fetish, some deluded fantasy that he was some part of. Her hands stalled, and he held his breath. 

“You are… you aren’t that.” She sighed heavily as she wrapped her arms around him. “I haven’t been one hundred percent honest with you. Cullen, I need to confess…”

“Captain, we need you on the bridge.” Rylen’s voice broke through the intercom system and both Diana and Cullen groaned. “I’m on my way.” Cullen hit the button. “Later, I will hear every word you have to…”

“It’s important Captain, hurry!” Dagna clipped in over the speaker and he wanted to punch the wall. Rising sharply from his chair he turned to face her, “Di…mmm.” His breath was stolen as her lips tenderly met his in a fleeting kiss he wished would last. “Later, Captain. I intend to hold you to that.” With a purr she swayed her hips and disappeared out the door. Leaving him stunned as his fingers traced the edges of his lips. “Maker Cullen, what mess have you gotten yourself into.” He sighed as he took an extra moment before following behind her.


	11. Time in a Bottle

Later. That word rung through his head on repeat as they struggled to find anytime to speak over the next three days. Between Aveline, diving, more tagging and Sera deciding to move on, there wasn’t a moment that Cullen wasn’t needed by someone. As those days grew longer, he became more and more frustrated. He did his best to keep the bite from his voice but by the last day he had, had enough. “Can you handle this Rylen? I have something I must…”

“Captain, this is the last thing we need to deal with. Then we’ll be leaving the hammerhead crew to pursue Sera. Please. I understand, mate.” Slapping his shoulder Rylen nodded. “Last thing, then I’ll hold down the fort.” 

Sighing heavily, Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right. Let’s get this sorted. When did she want the cages in the water? The sooner we manage this dive the better.” 

“In fifteen. You going down there? Dagna has the cover built for your hand.” Rylen paused expecting Cullen to pass the dive to him. “I’ll go see her. I want a good look myself down there.” This brought a smile to Cullen’s lips as he nodded at Rylen and began to move towards Dagna’s workshop. 

She was all smiles seeing him walk in, “just the man I needed!” Rushing him over to her work bench she grabbed the cast cover. “It is water tight. I tested it, several times. Your wetsuit will slip over top, create a perfect seal. You can dive.” Handing him the cover she was grinning from ear to ear. “Now, be careful. That thing isn’t a war club.” 

“Duly noted. Thank you Dagna.” Cullen chuckled as she blushed and waved him out the door. Heading back to his quarters he changed into his swim shorts before making his way to the rear. “All ready?” 

“Of course, Captain.” Rylen smiled as he waved towards Bull. “Captain’s going in.”

“Me as well.” Diana grinned as she stepped forward in her bikini. “Pass the suit, and let’s go for a dip. My dearest cousin is going to join us, and I wouldn’t miss that for the world!” 

Cullen sat for a moment stunned as he hauled up his wet suit, “Dorian, diving. Well this will be something to see.” Finishing preparing everyone stood by the cage as they performed a final mic check. With everyone ready they jumped into the cage and began to descend into the crystal-clear waters. “This is amazing.” Dorian’s voice clipped over the radio and Cullen chuckled. “First dive?”

“Yes, and no. My first in the open ocean and near these beautiful creatures. Look at them. So majestic and serene.” Dorian sighed heavily into the microphone. “I wish to do this in my spare time, forever.”

“Keep your eyes peeled. Hawke is going to use the laser camera to get some measurements and images. Dorian, just stay back out of the way and enjoy. Don’t want to have Anders patching you up.” Aveline said. “Besides, we have Fenris with you. He’s got a belt full of tags. Just help him reload.”

“Yes ma’am.” Dorian snickered as the cage descended to the ocean floor. “We have an hour. Cullen, Dagna, do you have the bait box?”

“Ready,” Diana fluttered out the cage down and settled next to Fenris and Dorian. “Cullen’s spotting behind us. We got this!” 

An hour late they were top side excitedly chatting about their luck. Fenris was a dead shot and managed to hit every target, tagging a little over a dozen sharks. Dorian couldn’t stop talking about being so close. One came in towards them and he was able to run his fingers along the side of the creature. His eyes were like saucers as he regaled Bull with his tale.

“I’ll be sad to see him go.” Cullen sighed as he finished removing his wetsuit. “I need to heat up. Anyone else, hot tub is open.” Not sitting around to hear who was chiming in, he headed towards it. Dipping into the water he closed his eyes and let the heat permeate through him. He felt the water ripple about him, and he cracked an eye. “Dorian, Diana, Bull, welcome to the heat.” He closed his eye again, focusing on the easing of his muscles. 

Some time passed as he floated away, letting his body soak in the warmth. Finally, he heard commotion racing towards them. “Cullen… CAPTAIN!” Dagna half screamed as she ran down the length of the ship. Grumbling he sat up, “Dagna can this…”

“No, no it can’t! She’s gone! Gone!!!” Dagna had tears streaming down her cheeks as she collapsed next to him by the hot tub. “The tag isn’t talking to me, and… and…”

“Woah, easy.” Diana shot out of the tub and rushed to the woman’s side. “Come on, maybe it’s a coding issue, or…”

“No! She’s gone! Even if we re-establish a connection we aren’t guaranteed to reach her before she pups. This year is ruined!” Dagna balled her fists up and growled. “I need something to hit.” 

“I got it.” Bull jumped out of the tub and looped an arm around Dagna. “Right this way. Got me a little punching bag set up below deck. You look like you could use it.” 

Cullen sunk back down, groaning loudly. “We’re fucked.” 

“No! This is perfect!” Cole smiled brightly sitting a foot away. “This is the perfect cliff hanger ending for the two-hour special! I can see Varric now, he’ll be flying over this.” Cole jumped from the tub, “I’ll let him know we have everything. He’ll want this back for next season. For sure!” He was off like a shot before Cullen could say anything. Sitting in the hot tub, alone and confused he drew in a deep breath. There wasn’t anything else they could do. Other than check the mating pairs tags. Maybe, just maybe they could predict a pattern based on Sera’s data. Humming along to himself he too extracted himself from the tub.

Drying off best he could, he reattached his leg and clipped his towel to the outside hook. Half limping down the corridor he made it to the command center. “Josephine, I need you to locate all tag data from Sera. I want all her trails laid out colour coded for time. Lay out the old data from last year in white, lay out the newer patterns in yellow. Add to that the current patterns of the mated pair, Fen’Harel and Mythal.”

“One moment.” Josephine’s voice filtered down as he watched the screens light up with the satellite image of the ocean. “This… is a spaghetti factory.” Craning his head from side to side while deep in thought. “Josephine duplicate image and separate Sera’s voyage into two seasons. Side parse in the mating pair.” His eyes danced over the data. “Save this image projection as twenty eighteen research patterning. Send a copy to Dagna, Rylen and Diana with the header; Work with this.”

“Done and sent. Is there anything further I may be of assistance in?” 

“Can you correct the lost signal to Sera’s tag?” Cullen half held out hope that Josephine could do it. “I’m sorry Captain. I am unable to establish a strong connection. I will notify you if she returns on our sensors.” 

“Thank you. That is all.” Cullen sighed as he leaned on the back of the built-in chair. “Shit…” His mind raced with what he could and couldn’t do. Stress began to bite at him, making the old itch come back hard. Trying to fight it off he knew he needed to relax, to move through it. Straightening best he could, he walked back towards the cage. Their adventure was done. Early. “Captain!” Rylen came racing towards him a smile on his face. “We may be done our season for now, but we just got the offer of a lifetime!” 

“Rylen, this better be worth it.” Cullen grumbled folding his arms as he patiently waited for the answer. “We have been invited to continue to work with the Guardsman’s crew. We’d dive, tag, take samples and measure great hammerheads. If there are makos in the water, we’ll get them tagged too. It’s better than packing up.” Rylen stood firm catching his breath from racing about trying to find him. 

Cullen mulled it over for a moment, “alright. How much longer is their expedition?” 

“They have a week left, but with our supplies combined we could get another week out of that. We are stocked for nearly three months.” Rylen was hopeful, and Cullen could read it. “Are you suggesting this to spend some more time with that Hawke woman?”

“Captain, I’m hurt you’d think I’d set this up just for some young pretty lass!” Rylen clutched his hand to his chest. “And here I was thinking of you and keeping you going.” 

“Alright, alright!” Cullen chuckled at Rylen’s fake hurt. “Do it. You have my blessing just, remember, we’re on the water for two more weeks. If you go and get yourself in a compromising situation, I can’t help you.” Cullen snickered as Rylen raced off towards the other ship, hopping the small gap between the two before he disappeared. It was already a couple hours past lunch, heading towards dinner. Feeling the ache throb in his leg, he just wanted to be alone. Stuffing his hands in his pockets he slunk back to his quarters. 

Past the threshold he realized he was still wearing his swim shorts. Taking his leg off he turned his shower on and set about warming himself and cleaning away the ocean water and bromine. “Captain, you have an incoming call from Varric Tethras.” Josephine interrupted his thoughts as he stepped out of the shower. Tightening the towel about his waist he ruffled is hair. “Alright, put in on the screen, waist up, please.”

“Always,” Josephine stated as the screen flickered to life. “Cullen! You sexy bastard! I have heard nothing but great things from my filming crew.” Varric’s large cheesy grin filled the screen and Cullen felt it mimic across his own lips. “Thank you. We’re still upset about missing our projections for the season but...”

“Oh, I know!” Varric waved his hand, that grin firmly in place. “I have an idea. You get that sorted for next season, we’ll film it. It’ll be a great follow up. Now, I don’t want to lose this opportunity with those crews out there and the incredibly chemistry between your ships! It’s going to make some high ratings, massive ratings. Are you alright with partnering up for even a couple weeks? We’d run it as a one-hour show, two crews, hammerheads and makos. Big and strong verses small and fast. I can see it now. What do you say?” 

“Done deal.” Cullen couldn’t hold back the smirk that etched into his lips. “We have the supplies and as long as the Guardsman crew is good with it, we’ll do it.” 

“Perfect. I’ll call Aveline now. This is brilliant, Cullen, pure brilliance. Oh, and one more thing.” Varric leaned forward, tenting his fingers. “I want more of that. Less shirt, more bare chest. It sells it. Really sells it. Smart and sexy, couldn’t get a better combo. Keep it up. We’ll be in touch once you make landfall. Best of luck Professor.” Varric winked as the line clipped out. 

Laughing to himself he dug for a tumbler, dropping a handful of ice in before pouring in the bourbon nearly to the top. He was set at least for now and guaranteed some more work. More work meant less time thinking about his leg, less risk of a relapse. Taking a sip, he debated what to wear. The gasp from behind him made him spin on the spot, nearly knocking his leg off. “Wh…”

“Cullen! I was just coming to tell you the good news.” Her eyes were locked on the tucked section of his towel. “I just got off the phone with Varric, I know.” Cullen hid his smirk behind his glass as he took another small sip. “I was just celebrating, then was going to inform the crew.”

“I… right! The crew!” Diana snapped herself out of it, “we… we still need to talk. And, I… sooner would be better.” Diana blushed brightly as Cullen leveled a knowing look at her. “I’ll leave you to dress and, after dinner. Can we speak then?”

“Please.” Cullen uttered the single word and struggled to hold back the swirl of heat as she shivered. “But I should dress, and dinner should be a celebration. We get to work another two weeks and in good company.” 

“I have further news to that, but I want everyone to hear it.” Diana’s crimson lips raised up into a vibrant smile that made his heart skip a beat. “I’ll see you at dinner, Captain. Sit beside me. I enjoy your company.” Before he could agree or disagree she skipped from his room.


	12. Good Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW AHEAD!

Picking out his nicest shirt and shorts from his bag he smoothed out his hair and applied a bit of cologne. ‘Maker, Cullen it’s dinner, with your crew.’ Groaning at himself he knew it wasn’t preparing for dinner that he was putting such effort into. It was afterwards. She was supposed to come back to his room and talk. Just. Talk. 

Straightening up from the sink he finished passing his razor down the last patch of unruly stubble. Standing back he wasn’t sure he liked it. Rylen had teased him for a while to try a beard, but he couldn’t get over the itching. “Beard oil mate. I have some if you ever want to give it a whirl. Or ask Blackwall. That bastard has a damn majestic creature growing off his face.” Cullen chuckled as he turned his head side to side. Was it even? He was so used to just shaving it all off. “Maybe not a full beard.” Applying a bit more of the shaving cream he turned it into a moustache and goatee combo. It wasn’t long enough for him to call a beard. Maybe a couple days old growth, but it grew quick enough. Washing away the last of the foam and bits of hair he applied a thick soothing cream before tidying his mess in the sink. 

Heading towards the dinning area he was met by smiling faces, both from his crew and Aveline’s. He hadn’t planned on having them over, “Rylen.” He rolled his eyes as he entered the hall. Sure, enough there was everyone, sitting and chatting away. Taking his seat Rylen elbowed him in the side. “Good look on you.”

“Thanks. Everyone seems content.”

“Sorry, Aveline’s idea. They wanted to extend the thank you to us for the help. Everything here, they did. Aveline insisted. She’s already given her crew a speech. Your turn.” Rylen grinned as he passed Cullen a full plate and drink. Clanging a fork against his cup he got everyone’s attention. “With the wonderful news of our work, the Captain here would like to say a few words.” 

Clearing his throat, Cullen stood from his chair, “it’s been a hard road and we felt like we lost it. Not finding the pupping ground this year was a set back. But we’ve have put in the work and next season we will find it. Shark Week has renewed interest in us and wants to follow us next season in the hunt. Now, we’ve offered our aid and Shark Week wants to turn it into another show. We’re going to spend two more weeks out here helping the crew of the Guardsman to secure tags, research material and dives with the great hammerheads. Thank you Aveline and Donnick for agreeing to let us stick around. I hope we can be helpful in your research. So, with that all being said, drink up, eat up and rest up. We have work to do, and I look forward to doing it all with you!” Raising his glass, he smiled as the crew clapped before taking a sip along with him.

Returning to his seat, the room burst into people happy chatting away. Smiling wide, Cullen caught Rylen with the blonde Hawke. He made a mental note to get her name. Turning back to his meal he was starving. With his mind on the multitude of things he wanted done over the next few days and Varric’s words still bouncing about he paid the room no mind. When his stomach was filled and content he leaned back in his chair, half paying attention to the chatter and merriment about him. 

As he relaxed the dessert was served, tea or coffee was offered alongside. People began to slowly filter out and being polite he waited for the last man to leave. Rising he felt the same stiffness in his leg the night air always brought. Yawning he made his way to his room. Diana was supposed to meet him there but during the meal she had excused herself to speak with Dorian in private. Now he wasn’t sure how he felt. Trudge through the halls towards his room, his mind was trying to put together what she had meant that morning. Having to admit something. Opening his bedroom door, he was expecting it to be empty. Instead he caught the flicker of light upon his desk, “Maker what…”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t be too much longer.” Diana smiled sipping from a tumbler filled with ice. “Forgive me, I needed a drink.”

“A drink?” Cullen crossed his arms as he walked over, a tumbler set out for him. “Diana, I want this to be a sober…”

“I am. Sit.” Standing she waved him to his desk chair. When he sat she began. “I said I had to confess something and I want to do that first. I… I heard about you from the university. When I broke a couple of your records. I started poking around, minor research. As I finished my schooling, my cousin was going on and on about backing this incredible team of oddballs. Something about how their work was revolutionary and their leader was, and I quote, ‘divine.’” Snickering Diana took another sip from her glass. “I convinced my father that it would be a good venture to put towards. It took me quite a bit to get it all together. I had to show him the tax-write offs, and the things he could get credit for before he would do it. Then he told me it was my problem to handle. He wanted no part in meeting you, your crew, Varric, or dealing with the banks. He lazily handed me money, which I banked and continued to bank. Dorian mentioned he handled everything typically with Rylen. That was my first call. He was easy going and willing to help, giving me more details and adding little touches here and there. I caught on fairly quickly that someone on board was in need of special equipment. Rylen didn’t hold back when I asked, and then I began to do research. Together we came up with some modifications. Your quarters were completely designed with your needs and comfort in mind. Down to the built-in seat in the shower and detachable shower head.” 

Cullen sat stunned, the tumbler loosely hanging in his hand. Forcing himself to take another sip he waited for her to continue. “I… I hadn’t thought it would be like this. To be honest with you. I was serious about my commitment to the preservation of sharks and research. That was never a lie. But when I met you, at the restaurant, there were… sparks. I couldn’t get you out of my head and I was terrified I’d come on too strong. But everything was so easy with you, so natural. I… I wanted to get to know you, not the things I’d heard or your records, you.” Her cheeks were red as she downed the last of her tumbler and set it on the desk. “So, I lied but it wasn’t meant to cause harm. I… I did what I thought was best. To help you, to break free from my father and to get some honest work done. Work no one else would have given me.” 

“I understand.” Cullen faintly smiled, trying to wrap his head around everything she did. Going back through everything she did. “You… you don’t see me as some tax break or mess?” 

“No! When you called that out in the cage I knew you must have overheard my phone call with my mother. Ulrich was trying to get his money back, find a way to get me off the boat and back within his walls. He doesn’t care about me Cullen, I’m just an object. One he could use for what he needed done. Mom, she’s not my biological mother. She married Ulrich a few years after mom died, but she’s got a heart of gold. She was trying to get him to calm down, and back off but she needed to know details. You must have overheard that part.” Diana sat down upon the edge of Cullen’s bed. “I wanted things to go smoother than this. It was all supposed to be for you and I got selfish…” 

“Selfish?” Cullen knocked back the drink before crossing the room to sit next to her. “Yes, I… I wanted more. I… you are so not what I expected. Funny, kind, focused and driven.” Sighing Diana leaned forward, pressing her elbows into her knees. “I couldn’t separate the work from you.” Diana moved, sitting up to look him in the eyes. “You have shown me nothing but kindness. Sweet, innocent kindness. I cannot count the times you could have taken advantage and you remained the perfect gentleman.” Gingerly she cupped his cheek in her palm, “it didn’t help anything at all.” She chuckled before sighing, “so there it is. All of it. The truth I have been trying to tell you for the last couple weeks.” 

Her hand hadn’t left his cheek and he could feel the fire beginning to coil around his stomach, low embers beginning to spark to life. Closing his eyes, he sighed deeply as his hand carefully covered hers and he turned to press a kiss to her pulse point. “Thank you,” he murmured against her skin. She gasped at the contact and moved towards him. Before he could open his eyes, Diana was sitting in his lap. “Diana…”

“Don’t. This isn’t about sex, Cullen. I can get that anytime, anywhere with anyone I want. This… is more.” Pressing her lips against his forehead Cullen felt dizzy. “I’m not… My leg… I can’t…”

“Shhh, it doesn’t matter. I like you just as you are. You are enough as you are.” Cullen felt everything slip into place with those words. He felt his throat tighten and his eyes stung. Clearing his throat in an attempt to push down the lump and pull back the tears he rested his forehead against hers. “I… I’ll have to take your word for it.” 

“I want you to feel exactly how special you are to me, Cullen Rutherford.” Diana cupped his face in her palms, running her thumbs over his cheekbones. Slowly she laid a feather light kiss to his lips, just a hint of a sensation as he snapped his eyes shut. “Look at me. This isn’t a dream. Please.” Her lips against his with each word had his heart beating hard enough to pound in his ears. Drawing in a deep breath he opened his eyes. “Okay.” His voice was a mere breath as she undid the top buttons of his polo before tugging it free from his shorts and pulling it over his head. He watched in quiet marvel as her shirt followed his to the floor. Licking his lips, he looked back over his shoulder at the pillows, “good idea.” Diana said as she followed him up towards the headboard. 

Resting in a half sit he nearly choked on the air as her fingers worked at the clasp of his shorts. “My… leg…” He could barely get the words out, his mind racing to blank as he tried to relax. Her smile was soft, caring as she eased over to the side, pulling his pants off she saw the strap that held it on. Carefully she unclipped the buckle and slid it off, exposing the white sock. Quadrupled folded, to help keep his prosthetic tight and prevent rubbing the stump raw. Ever so softly she unfolded the sock and placed it down on the floor together. “Are you alright?” She checked on him before continuing.

“I… I’m good.” Cullen could feel his heart beating in his throat. She crawled back up the bed, resting upon his hips. “Di…”

“Shhh,” she pressed her finger against his lips. “Let me, please.” With a bob of his head she leaned in and kissed him. Slow and languid building quickly into more. His hands skimmed over her back, finding the clasp of her bra. As the bit of fabric tumbled to the floor he moaned out. Her lips traced a heated line from his jaw down his neck, trailing even lower. Leaning his head back against the headboard he raised his hips up, helping her to ease off his boxers. Her lips continued their teasing as she pressed them against the inside of his hip. “D… Di…” his words were a staccato as she blew across the tip, causing him to wantonly buck against her. Sucking his lips into his mouth he couldn’t breath. Fingers digging into the fabric had him edging closer to losing himself. The last of her clothes hit the floor and he struggled to keep his eyes open. This had to be a dream, a wonderful sleeping torture of what he could never have. Blinking hard he closed his eyes for a moment, just wanting to commit this to his memory. Her hot hands against his chest and the brush of her knee over his hip, had him swallowing hard. “Look at me.” She whispered against his ear just before she nibbled upon his ear lobe. Before he could get a word out, she kissed his lips, a brush that was as gentle as the beat of a butterfly’s wings. As she deepened the kiss he felt her slowly sink onto him. “Mhmm,” he loudly groaned against her lips. Instinct kicked in as his hands went to her hips, pulling her into him, holding her against himself. He needed a moment, just a moment to let the suddenness settle. 

Breathing heavily, he rested his forehead against hers. When she began to move her hips, he drew in a sharp breath. His lips were everywhere he could reach, trying to drink her is as she continued a steady, slow pace. “Diana,” he sighed out as she began to pick up her pace. Each thrust of her hips was driving him higher and he could feel the coil inside tighten. Gripping her he began trying to thrust up against her. It earned him a stifled cry as she pressed herself against him. “Cullen,” she cried as she went limp against his chest. Gripping her tight he kept pace, rutting into her until he could feel it about to burst. “Diana… I…” Quickly she slipped off him, barely in time. Both lay panting and disheveled. “Diana…” Cullen puffed feeling the edge of exhaustion creep through him. “Don’t… don’t leave.” 

“I won’t Diana,” sighed curling into him. “Cullen, this isn’t a one-time thing is it?” There was real fear in her voice. Cullen took no time to respond, “no. No, I don’t… No. I want, I hope you do to.” His words were a jumbled mess as Diana untangled the blanket and threw it over them. “Diana, stay with the crew and I. Join the team, full time. Dagna loves you, Rylen thinks very highly of you and I… would be lost without you.”

Diana let out a content chuckle as she snuggled in as close as she could, laying her head upon his chest. “I would be more than happy to stay. I don’t have anything waiting from me when we get to shore… When I cut ties, I didn’t really think it through.” Cullen watched as she wound and unwound the sheet about her hand, her fingers turning white then dark pink before she released the tension. “I’m currently homeless, jobless, and possibly broke. I only have one bit of good news. I managed to squirrel away enough funds to keep this research team fully stocked with the best for the next couple years.” 

“Diana. You didn’t have to.” Cullen wrapped his arm around her and pressed a tender kiss to the top of her head. “You can stay with me. The house is more than big enough. I mean, if you want to.” He could feel the heat tickle his chest and cheeks. How had he managed to go from meeting this incredible woman to her moving in with him? It was still something he couldn’t really see, yet here it was. Her weight coiled against him not only real but present. His hand idly stroked through her hair, now a mess about her shoulders. There was a feeling blossoming through his chest, one he’d never experienced before. Thinking about it, he wanted to do something, say something but in the time that had passed Diana had already fallen asleep.


	13. Falling Slowly

Being too tired to think about it much more himself he got as comfortable as he could and closed his eyes. Sleep came easy and it held him tight till the suns rays began to filter in through his windows, splashing across his eyes. Mumbling he went to move when he realized he was wrapped around something warm and moving. Peeking out from under his lashes he caught her scarlet coils billowed in a mess about the pillow. Drawing in her scent he smiled. “Good morning,” he purred, pressing a kiss to her exposed shoulder. Feeling her stir he ran the tips of his fingers over her hip, resting lightly on the dip of her waist. “I could get used to these kinds of mornings,” Diana sighed as she pressed herself back against him. Her bare skin had him humming in delight, “there’s a little bit of time before we need to get up.” With her pleased grunt he continued to let his fingers slowly walk up her side. Leaning on his elbow he captured her lips in a searing kiss that left them both aching for more. 

Lazily Cullen rolled his hips forward, setting an even pace as Diana worked with him, whispered groans and whimpers filled the serene space between them. Afterwards Cullen let her shower first. Her case was still sitting at the end of the bed and he couldn’t keep the goofy grin off his lips.

Once they were showered and ready for the day they tended to breakfast. Cullen wearing a permanent smile across his lips as the crew went about preparing for their first day of filming. Things ran smoothly, getting another dive together, interviews regarding the new program, and discussing plans for the next two weeks. Most of it blurred by as Cullen put his head down and plowed through as much as he could. By the end of the day he was dragging himself about. Everything ached. Including a healthy dose of phantom leg pain that had him half running towards the hot tub. Unclipping the buckle of his prosthetic made him groan. He’d developed a nasty blister about the edge of the cuff and he knew he was in trouble if he didn’t take care of it. “Shit.” He cursed as he sunk into the water. 

It was quiet. People were busy either tending to the meal preparation or resting. It had been a taxing day and Cullen was secretly dreading tomorrow. With the blisters he wasn’t going to be able to wear his leg, which meant he’d have to use his cane. Well he fondly called it a cane, it was a forearm crutch. Which would mean his right arm would be useless unless he was leaning upon something. Feeling his muscles loosen and the soreness begin to fade he knew his next stop would be the medics. He’d need to get some cream of some kind for it. 

Hauling himself out of the hot tub he grabbed the cane he kept nearby. Half hobbling with his leg tucked under his bad arm he tapped it against the medical bay door, “doc you in here?” Pushing the door open he poked his head in. Dr. Solas was no where to be seen. Half squirming through the door into the room, Cullen caught sight of the jumbo-sized medical bag sitting on a counter. Having dealt with blisters and minor infections many times he was more than aware of what he needed. Dropping his leg beside it he quickly began to dig through. “Bandages, splint kit, tourniquet, more Band-Aids…” he grumbled as he tried to push his hand around. “Ointment, nope. Ah ha!” Pulling the tube out he grinned wide, “good old polysporin.” 

“I have several more, Mr. Rutherford. Take that one. Might want to grab some bandages as well. Keep those blisters from getting infects. I can drain them now if you’d like.” Solas was standing in the door way his arms folded loosely across his chest. “I’ll pack you up a small bag. You can throw your leg in it too,” Solas’s barking sarcasm had Cullen stifling a chuckle. “Thanks doc. Don’t want it to get infected.”  
“Common enough issues for most amputees. Never really goes away. Prosthetics are getting better, but we aren’t there quite yet. My condolences.” Taking the tube from his hand, Solas put it into a shoulder bag. Throwing a few rolls of bandages in he placed the leg on top. “All packed. Anything else I can help with, Mr. Rutherford?”

“No. Nope. Nothing else. Thanks.” Taking the bag, he paused, “mind taking a look at this though? It’s beginning to drive me mad.” 

“Sure, over here. Let’s cut that off and poke around.” Solas began to grab out the things he needed, and Cullen hoped this would be it for his hand. It’d been over a week and he was a faster healer. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed he was flexing his hand. It was still sore and extremely bruised but Solas was convinced it was safe enough to take off the cast. Instead he had a hand brace he needed to wear at night. Taking his time, he applied the ointment and wrapped the bandage around. In a day or two he’d have to drain the blisters and he wasn’t really looking forward to it. “You alright?” Diana came flying across the room, seeing the bandages still in his hand. “Ya, I’m fine. This… is normal.” He frowned as he said the words. It was normal. It happened all the time. “I… Its nothing. I’ve already managed it.”

“You’re upset I saw this, aren’t you?” Diana rested her hand on his thigh. “I’m okay with this. I know it’s not going to be easy. If that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“Worried? Try terrified. I have so many issues and you are… You’re perfect. I’m a Maker cursed wreck!” Slumping forward he threw his head in his hands. “You deserve better. I forget myself, and how troublesome I am.”

“Cullen,” Diana wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. “No. You’re a wonderful person and everyone has something wrong with them. I don’t care how much effort it needs, I want to be there for you. What do you have to do next? You can’t walk on your leg, can you?”

“No, I can’t. In a couple days, I have to drain any of the blisters. After that I have to apply more cream. It’ll be at least a week before I can wear my leg again. My… the forearm cuff causes bruising and sometimes blisters too. It’s… life.” Cullen sighed again, not taking his face from his hands. It also meant he once again, couldn’t dive. He was at too high of a risk for infection. “I can’t dive.” 

“We can use you top side watching our backs and monitoring oxygen. You aren’t useless, we just need to…”

“Make me fit somewhere. I’ve heard it all before.” Grumbling he threw himself back, landing flat on the bed. “I’m in a funk. I’ll get over it.” He could feel the bed shift next to him until she was straddling his hips. “Cullen.” She laid flat on top of him and he had to marvel at how light she felt. “Di…” She gently cut him off, pressing a tender kiss upon his lips. “We’ll get through this.” 

“Thank you. Sometimes I forget myself.” Cullen cracked a soft smile. “I… admittedly could use a bit of help. If… If you don’t mind.” His cheeks flushed rosy red. “Of course.” Standing quickly Diana smiled, “let me go get us something to eat. We don’t have anything else to do today and you could use the rest. I’ll be right back.” 

For the rest of the evening they chatted, and Diana worked on rubbing the ache from his leg. This was the normal for several days while Cullen recovered. He managed the deck systems and operations, a towel wrapped in his forearm cuff. By the end of a week he was back on his leg. Still unsure about diving he stuck to manning the coms and managing the systems. Things settled into a normal pattern as their expedition wound down. The last day was set to be a small party for both crews and tomorrow they were heading back to the marina. 

“Everything’s ready Captain, this is going to be a good one.” Rylen grinned wearing his best shirt. “We saved the champagne just for this. Cla…Hawke is going to love it.” Rylen’s face began to flush red which had Cullen smirking wide. “You’re on a first name basis with the young woman?” 

“I… well… the lass is most interesting and…”

“Not another bumbled word Rylen.” Cullen chuckled. “Go have a good time. We’ll leave later in the morning, so enjoy your night.” 

Rylen gave him a quick swat on the shoulder before he raced off to parts unknown. Cullen himself was looking forward to being back on firm ground. Easing back into his chair he drew in a deep breath. “Captain,” Josephine’s voice broke him from his daydream. “Josephine.”

“Captain,” Josephine’s voice broke him from his daydream. “Josephine.”  
“I have re-established a link with Sera’s tag. She has left the area and is travelling to warmer waters. I may be able to download the missing data. Did you want me to compile a map for you?” 

“Begin working on it. Once you have tangible results send a copy to Rylen, Dagna, Diana and me. Thank you for the update.” Smiling wide he let out a long breath. Next year they’d have it. They’d narrow down an area and be able to plan some courses to track it down. In his head he went about figuring out how he’d want to tackle it when Blackwall broke his concentration, “Captain, may I have a moment of your time.”

“Sit down.” Cullen waved him over and Blackwall eagerly sat across from him. “Bull and I would like to stay on with your team. Next season, if you are in need, please.” 

“I will speak with Rylen, but as of right now I see no issue with it. You have both been incredibly helpful and loyal. I appreciate it. Sincerely. Thank you.” Cullen shook Blackwall’s hand as he got up. “Dinner should be shortly, I’ll see everyone in the dinning room.” 

“Thank you, sir.” Blackwall rose and calmly walked from the room, leaving Cullen once again in silence. Sitting in his room he sighed, he would be back to reality and all its temptations and hardships in a couple days. Rising he ran his fingers over his desk. He’d miss this ship, and furthermore the crew. Shutting off his computer he ran his hand through his hair before beginning the short walk to the mess hall. 

Taking his normal seat, he tried to commit every face to memory. People were exchanging phone numbers and contact information as they passed about drink and food. Cullen’s mind wandered to their return. Land life wasn’t boring, there was always work to do and they had to fly out to film some more for Shark Week. Promotional videos and the like. All three were set to be in studio for Shark After Dark and Rylen was going to ride the mechanical shark. That idea made Cullen smile. 

Over dinner he stayed quiet, just soaking in the feeling about him. Family, as Rylen often put it. They were a rag tag bunch who spent a lot of time together both on the water and off. Rylen was like a brother to him and Dagna, like a sister. What was Diana? They hadn’t really said it out loud, either of them. Yet she was set to move in with him, continue to work with the crew and join them on set at the Shark Week studio. He felt ridiculous saying the word; boyfriend. That was for young men, wasn’t it? Thirty-one years on the planet and he found that word too young. Deep in that thought he missed Rylen’s speech, and Aveline’s farewell till next season. Clapping along with the crowd he was trying to figure out what a month-long relationship was called. Dating. Dating? Shaking the thought from his head he tried to focus on the dwindling chatter as people began to say their goodnights and goodbyes. 

With the hall empty save him and Diana he took one last look around, absorbing the silence. Taking her hand in his they went back to his quarters. Their quarters. He had to remind himself of that still. They worked well together and functioned seamlessly outside as well. Sleeping beside her brought him a level of calm he didn’t expect another human being could cause. Wrapped up in her or wrapped around her, it grounded him. Even keeping some of the random phantom pain at bay. 

The next morning, they waved as the Guardsman sailed out of sight. It was somber aboard the ship, Rylen wasn’t in his usual joking mood. Cullen knew better than to tease him when he was like this. It would be just near night fall before they arrived at the marina and everyone would be exhausted. Going over the last email in his inbox he sighed heavily, “this isn’t where I wanted to end the season, but I can’t be one hundred percent angry either.” She was sitting on the edge of his bed, reading a book quietly. “Thank you, Diana.”

“My pleasure, but I don’t know exactly what you’re thanking me for.” Placing her bookmark between her pages she set the book to the side. Strolling behind him she began rubbing at his neck and shoulders, “next year. We’ll get it next year. I think, it’ll be an easy wait to get there.” Pressing a soft kiss to his temple, she wrapped her arms around him. “You sure about all this? Us?”

“I don’t know what to call us. Boyfriend and girlfriend sound so young, but I do know I want this. More so I want this to work. If that makes sense.” Cullen took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles. “It does. And I look forward to working with you.” Diana chuckled as Cullen shut the lid to his laptop. “We’ve got a few hours before we make landfall. I wonder what we can do with that time?” 

“I have a few ideas,” Cullen let the rumble through his chest resonate as he held her close, enjoying the shiver it produced from her. “If you’re up for it.” 

“We have all the time in the world,” Diana grinned pressing a soft kiss to the edge of his lips. “Or at least till we’re needed on deck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lot of fun on this one. But I'm already thinking of a sequel. We'll see if I can work something in. Hope everyone enjoyed! Google KieraRutherford for more or me.


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